Someday, maybe there will be words to express the grief, for now we have memories of the good times.; and stories: Here are some memories from the good times.
Two stories of why we got married:
Story 1. Among the items lost in the recent fire was our bedroom furniture. June and I bought it before we got married. at a department store called “Woody’s”. She bought the bed and dresser; I bought the chest of drawers and two bedside tables. We were told we had to wait about 4 weeks for delivery. When the time finally came, we realized that we had to decide where we wanted it delivered.; her place or mine. We were both too frugal (cheap) to pay for moving it twice , so the only logical choice was to get married…..
Story 2. That’s one story, my friend Shu-Man has another which he told in his best man speech our wedding. In addition to the department store bedroom furniture, June and I enjoyed “antique” (junk) shopping. On weekends we would drive the backroads of Virginia, Maryland and Pennsylvania looking for treasure. We were the American Pickers of the day. On one particularly successful weekend we found two tables. I bought a walnut drop leaf table and June found a nice oak table. When Shu-Man heard that we had bought 2 tables, he concluded that we had decided not to marry; because Mike is too cheap to waste money on two tables if one would do!
June was a very patient and kind person. On one of our first dates, we went for lunch at “Crisfield’s”, a Silver Spring, Maryland restaurant. We ordered a dozen or so blue crabs, boiled in spicey” Old Bay” seasoning, piled up in the middle of the table, on a tablecloth of old newspapers. From there you race your tablemates to determine who is the fastest at opening the shells. I later learned that this was a tradition around the Chesapeake bay. I also learned to never get in a crab eating contest with a native Marylander; here is the story. She was about to finish her third crab when she noticed me still puzzling over crab number one. She paused her own eating and proceeded to give me a lesson in how to dissect the little crustacean delicacy and get the most crab meat in the least time,. To this day I remember her kindness and patience. I think that next time I ordered crabcakes. In these last years of her life as her condition worsened, I frequently had to assist her at meals and I guess that’s the least I could do to. Remembering the help she gave me on that first date eating crabs at Crisfield’s in Silver Spring Maryland.
Competition; Just as economists say competition strengthens the marketplace, June believed the same was true for young men of marriageable age who sought her attention. I soon learned that I was not alone in this game. I outlasted all the rest, a few of whom I will describe. In her later years as dementia worsened, she entertained her caregivers (and embarrassed me) with stories of some of these guys. One guy had a sailboat on the Chesapeake Bay and June loved sailing with him. More about him later. June’s family lived a short drive from Annapolis, and she dated Navy midshipmen starting when she was in high school. The academy was men only in those days, and had a full calendar of dances and events for which dates were needed.
On one official Naval sailing exercise, they disguised June in a Navy uniform, thus making her a member of their small sailboat crew. You might say she was the first female midshipman, but the brass would not have seen any humour in it. According to June, no one got caught.
The main social season at the academy was known as “June Week” . They have subsequently changed their calendar, so June week no longer falls in the month of June, but hey still call it June week. I kidded June that the week was named after her. For years we got phone calls from USNA grads asking if June was “still single”. Much later we were on another cruise, this time Holland-American. On formal night, we met an elderly man wearing his formal Navy uniform instead of a civilian tux. It turned out that he had attended the academy in the same years. However, neither recalled specifically meeting back then. June even went on a ski trip with a group that included Roger Staubach, who later was to be a star on the Dallas Cowboys NFL team (June did not date Roger, he was engaged it was more of a group trip). But the story really impressed my family in Dallas all of whom were Cowboys fans.
One last sailboat story; During my medical internship in San Diego, I had the first of what was to be a string of lucky breaks. Frank Ward (like me a resident physician at the local UCSD medical center) invited me to join him for a double date with two girls from the DC area. They were in California on a spring break. They were referred to us by Rick, who had served in the USN with Frank. I accepted. The first date was a drive down the pacific coast highway to Rosarita beach, and then on to Ensenada where we had lunch.at a restaurant “El Rey Sol”. The second night was even better; dinner and dancing at the “La Jolla Beach and Tennis club”. With floodlights on the surf at our feet, we danced to live music. I give all the credit to my good friend Frank, but June later let me know that it made a lasting first impression.
Before a last goodbye to June on that fantastic weekend, I made sure she knew that I was planning to move to her area in July. We agreed that I would call her once I arrived in Baltimore and was settled in. When I did arrive, she answered my phone call in a cheerful mood. I later learned that she had plans to spend the day sailing with a friend (boyfriend). He had just called and cancelled their sailing date, because of a last-minute crisis at his work. Then, just as that call ended, my call rang her phone, and we had our first date that very day in July 1972. Fast forward and we were married 11/22/1973.
But just how did I end up winning her hand? First, I made friends with her cat, Cinnamon. Her cat could hear my car and distinguished my motor sound from that of all the other cars in the large apartment complex parking lot. When I came to visit her, he ran down the steps of the building out through the parking lot, weaving in and out of many cars until he found me and my 1963 Chevy V8. Then he would escort me proudly up to her apartment. He also was the cat who could feed himself by opening the cabinet and getting out the dry cat food. He never learned to use a can opener. Also, her brother Bill ( I learned later) had made a strong recommendation for me over all the others suitors, for which I will be eternally thankful.
I could go on and on listing the people I met, who then who turned out to already be friends or even relatives of June. These include Mary Rockefeller, professor William Longmire, founding chairman of surgery at UCLA, Doctor Merrill Chase a researcher in tuberculosis immunity who worked with “cousin” Curtis Williams, old friend of my mentor in NY. Thanks to her outgoing personality we had an afternoon with coach John wooden of UCLA basketball fame (Cousin Joe Allen was HS basketball coach and also a longtime fan and friend of coach Wooden).
In all it turned out as it should have turned out for all of us. She was a wonderful wife, always full of joy and excitement and enthusiasm for everything we did. She was a beautiful young lady who I enjoyed being with every minute. I finished grieving for the dementia long ago. I only get sad and cry when I think of the good times we had back in those days. And then I remember the advice I gave to others in the same situation. I am thankful for her life and for everything she did for me and our family.
Share with others
Donate in memory
