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In memory of

John Danger Stokeboii

Fort Campbell, KY

July 22, 1997 - September 19, 2019

Jul 22, 1997 - Sep 19, 2019

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John Danger (he had it changed the day before in preparation) Stokeboii, 22, passed away on September 19, 2019, at 9:19 AM, in Fort Campbell, Kentucky, due to a simultaneous onset of cocaine overdose, autoerotic asphyxiation, organs shutting down from some rare form of sexually transmitted Ebola he received from a large baboon in Rwanda, shock, and blood loss from multiple stab wounds, received earlier in the day when he told a biker gang they "weren't shit" and "could never kill someone as awesome as him". His last words were, "Hold my beer and watch this!", before he shit himself and fell over. Onlookers granted confused applause. A funeral was held on September 25th, with multiple women and a few animals dying of the sexually transmitted Ebola. Their bodies were given a special kind of loving, and a few lines were snorted off of John's dead cock in his remembrance. Left behind to miss him is his 463-hp 2006 Mercedes-Benz E55 AMG, with 515 lb-ft of torque, still in great condition. His parents got half a mil, 'cuz he was a good boy.

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