"In loving memory of John Doe “Buck” Deer, the four-legged fashionista who rocked spots and stripes with unparalleled grace. Despite countless attempts to outsmart humans in the art of crossing roads, she gracefully leapt into the great meadow in the sky, leaving behind a legacy of hoofprints and a trail of confused motorists. May her spirit frolic forever in the most majestic forest of eternity, where the grass is always greener, and the headlights never shine."