Read Jeffrey Allan Housour's Obituary & Leave Condolences

In memory of

Jeffrey Allan Housour

Gun Barrel City, TX

August 30, 1957 - January 4, 2018

Aug 30, 1957 - Jan 4, 2018

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Jeff died of complications from stage 4 COPD and was under the care of Harbor Hospice in Tyler, TX. Jeffrey Allan Housour and Evelyn Elaine Fox met in 1995 in Lubbock, TX. Jeff proposed to Elaine in 1996 but his mother, Gwen, had his brother, Rex come to our home and advise me in private that Gwen sent him to tell me not to marry Jeff as she would make my life miserable. I never told Jeff about this interaction until 2014 after we had exchanged marriage vows in a common law marriage ceremony between ourselves and God at 345 Bay Court, Gun Barrell City, TX. My daughter, grandson and his family were advised we were common law married and everyone who knew us knew we were married. We were husband and wife.. Jeff had never known why I had accepted his proposal and then gave the ring back. He was a career BNSF employee and was gone for weeks at a time and I did not want to deal with his mother while he was gone or when he was home after the threat from Rex. Jeff and I were common law married approximately January 1, 2014. We had maintained a friendship of love and loyalty and dependability since 1995. There were times of seperation until 2014 because of Jeff's job and his life-long home was Lubbock, TX. I moved around a bit. He would always come spend time with me, my daughter, Jennifer Snyder, and my grandson, Ian Snyder, through all those years. He loved Jennifer and Ian and considered them his. Ian never knew life without Jeff in it and they were great friends. Ian is now in college. They were fellow martial artists. Jeff spoke many times of getting married and I declined due to his mother. Jeff was loved by "our family" and he was the head of "our family", as sanctioned by us and our God. When I found out in 2013 that he was in the final stages of COPD and not following doctor's instructions and he asked me to marry him again and live out our final days together, I accepted as long as he would move away from his mother. That is how we ended up in Gun Barrell City, TX together where we lived happily and "our family" made sure he was kept as healthy and comfortable as possible. We had many good years together and I grieve daily for the loss of my lifelong friend, companion, lover, and husband. Jeff served in the US Army. His family (mother) left our family (Jeff's family) completely out of all ceremony and dialogue at Jeff's funeral. His mother listed him as "never married" on his death certificate, misspelled his name and "our family" was in no way mentioned. The only pictures they showed of Jeff were from when he was a small child and one from high school. They had no more recent pictures. Gwen actually said many times that "I knew more about him than they did". My grandson, Ian, was a pallbearer and drove from and back to OK for college the day of Jeff's funeral. Jeff requested that he be returned to Lubbock for burial as I will be cremated and he would be with "his biological family" in his home town in Lubbock. Jeff was the love of my life and I, of his. I miss him daily and will never forget what an honest, trusting man he was. We will live together forever spiritually. A man of honor would want his wishes carried out as he repeatedly expressed to me and his mother. Other people in our house heard these communications over speaker phone which Jeff always said she was on speaker. He lived where he wanted and was with who he wanted to be with. He asked me to please quit my job at Teletech, in Enns to be with him 24/7 and I did. He was tired of and did not want to be ALONE anymore. He was terminally ill. If he had wanted to be in Lubbock where he told me he sometimes had no phone calls, visits or communication with "his family" for months on end he would have been there. He had a fear of dying alone and no one finding him for weeks or perhaps months. He chose to be surrounded by love in "our family", his true supportive family in Gun Barrell City instead. He was alone for most of his life until he finally came to be my husband. Jeff was NEVER alone again. He was adored by "our family" and will never be forgotten. No one can ever take away our memories and the love we shared but his mother has followed through on making my life miserable by not honoring his dying wishes which she told Jeff she would honor. Jeff would never believe his mother would completely forsake his wishes as she has done. I am so heartbroken for him and for her because she will not carry out his wishes as she promised him in my presence so many times. I loved my husband my entire life and always stayed in touch for over 23 years. It's a shame the world can be so cruel. God sanctioned our common law marriage and we all understood the marriage was real as did anyone who met us or knew us, including his mother, father and brother. At one point, and I have the letter to prove it Jeff's mother actually told him: "I love you more than you love Ian." As guilt ridden as that seems the further reaching implications are that if she actualy said that she knew for Jeff to love Ian, our grandson, so much that she had to attempt to make herself look more loving than she knew he loved and cared for me even more. He made no secret of his love for me and I made no secret of my love for him. We were married in God's eyes and our eyes. Jeff wrote: "You and God; the three of us are beautiful together", in a letter to me. He also wrote he felt "natural" with me. I consider that a compliment and very romantic and loving. And last, but not least he wrote: "I Love you and don't want to see a life without you". Who has the authority to define marriage? Jeff and I felt like God and ourselves did and we followed all the Texas regulations of being common law married. We agreed we were married and took vows to God and one another, we lived together and we introduced ourselves to others as husband and wife.

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