Clyde and Elaine Singletary, their story can only be told together.

Clyde was a boy from Shawnee, Oklahoma. He grew up steeped in southern ideals, deep poverty, and lots of love. Elaine was a “Navy Brat”. She lived in many different places with her family. The place she spoke most of (other than her “childhood home” of Maryland) was Guam. So, how did these two young people from such different worlds meet? On a Navy base, of course!

Clyde was the beloved son of Ava Dean (Singletary) Grantham. He had a wonderful stepfather he affectionally called, “Pappa Fritz”. He was a brother to Pat, Tiny, Linda, Josie, Roy, and Paul. The stories these seven would share from their childhood! Lots involved shenanigans with guns, animals, and a life lived free and outdoors. Clyde was preceded in death by his mother Ava and his sister Pat. He considered all his siblings’ spouses to be “family”. He loved each one of them dearly. He was broken hearted to lose a “brother” in Josie’s husband, Ranger. Clyde was a man of true integrity and lived by “his word.”

Elaine was the prim and proper daughter of David Alton Kobe and Grace Gordon Taylor Kobe. She was the youngest of two daughters. She was preceded in death by her parents Dave and Grace and her sister, Joan Ruby. Elaine was a loyal and true soul. She was a loving daughter and took care of both her parents when needed. She could be counted on as both a friend and a family member. She was a very patriotic woman. There is a memory of a card she received in the mail from a stranger who had taken her picture from the bus he was in. His bus was transporting his unit home from the war in the Middle East. It was 4:00 in the morning and he thought no one would care enough to welcome them home. Elaine and a few friends would get the bus schedules and gather on the side of the highway with signs and flags, no matter the time, to welcome our soldiers back home.

Once their paths crossed, the story was written in stone. These two souls were created to be together. They were loving, faithful, and kind to one another. Clyde sang a special song to his bride every morning when they woke up together. People often remarked on how affectionate they were with one another. If in the same room, they were probably touching (holding hands, sitting shoulder to shoulder, touching feet under a table). They were a wonderful example of a true partnership.

Clyde was the breadwinner. He made his living as an electrician both in the Navy and then with the State of Georgia at Georgia Ports Authority working on the cranes. In his 22 plus years in the Navy, he was decorated with the Vietnam Campaign Medal, Vietnam Service Medal, a Bronze Star, the National Defense Service Medal, 5 Good Conduct Medals, and the “E” Ribbon. He was proud to have worked himself up to the rank of Chief Petty Officer.

He was a talented craftsman. He would build, re-do, and then re-do again anything Elaine wanted done to the home. In most children’s homes, the furniture would get moved around. In our home, walls were also moved! Clyde often worked side by side with Elaine’s father, Dave. He grew to love Dave as a father and Dave loved Clyde as a son. The only mention to make of his biological father who abandoned him and the family when he was a young child is another lesson Clyde taught through this “relationship.” Clyde did forgive his father later in life. However, he explained that forgiveness does not mean that you must allow an active relationship. He visited his father to give him his forgiveness and wish him well but then set a boundary that remained respected for the rest of his life.

Even with his busy schedule, Clyde made time for family. He was his son David’s boy scout leader for many years. He would save up his leave time and take his family to see the county over the summers. Clyde was a man many could look up to. Yes, he was given an opportunity to improve his life through the military but, he chose to make it the best opportunity possible. His love for Elaine made him want to be a better man. He finished school and learned trigonometry at a kitchen table to pass his certification tests. He was proud, but not too proud to accept the help of others when he knew it would allow him to provide better for his family. Once Clyde retired from the Port Authority, he turned his focus to family and community. He would drive veterans to appointments, he worked on mission trips to repair homes for elderly and underprivileged. He drove the bus to take children to Vacation Bible School. Clyde used his talents to help his church fix up their properties. He made it a priority to visit all his siblings and extended family.

For a man that grew up in very restrictive ideals and without a faith, Clyde proved to all that you are never too old or set in your ways to change. In 1986, he was baptized in the United Methodist Church. It was for Elaine that he even began attending church. With his faith, he learned to let go of bigoted beliefs and to love people of all walks of life. He expressed pride and love for his children and grandchildren. The man who could strike fear in the hearts of small children with just the presence and a “look”….became a softy. He lovingly took on the nickname of “B-Daddy” given to him by his granddaughter, Savannah. He shared in a letter that was read after his death that one of his most precious memories was coming home from work one day when he and Elaine were keeping Savannah and how she ran to him at the door, screamed excitedly “B-Daddy” and jumped into his arms. His heart melted and his name changed in an instant.

Elaine was a fantastic homemaker. She was a wonderful seamstress and a fabulous cake decorator. She was either taught these skills by her mother, Grace (a very detailed woman herself) or she would learn through reading. In addition, Elaine was a gifted crafter. If it could be made, Elaine could make it! She also loved painting. Her paintings still hang in the homes of lucky loved ones. Between Elaine’s ability to make anything, and Clyde’s ability to build/fix anything, their children were brought up with a “can do” attitude. She LOVED organization. The financial health of the family can be attributed to the fact that she did not have constant access to “The Container Store” in her town. She would spend many HAPPY hours organizing something (a closet, a pantry, a drawer). She was the only person I know who would “file” her fabric scraps. Both by type and color! Shoes in the closet, clothes on the racks, all organized.

To know Elaine was to laugh! She had the quickest wit of anyone around. Her sense of humor was contagious and a necessary tool to survive raising her family. Elaine was the caretaker of not just our home, she was the caretaker of Clyde’s soul. She was his morale compass. He adored her sweetness and kind heart. The only transgression too great to overcome in Clyde’s world was to hurt Elaine.

Elaine was her daughter, Joann’s Girl Scout Troop leader for 10 years! She was the most forward thinking and “cool” leader one could be. She took the time to find things to both educate and/or interest the girls in staying in scouts when being a Girl Scout was no longer “cool.” She took her troop to the gynecologist (not for exams, but to learn about what they did and why it was important). She took the girls to a funeral home and crematorium. She also planned lots of fun things from camping to going to “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” Elaine was game for fun. Her Girl Scout camp nickname (everyone had to have one) was, “Evil-Eye.” For all her fun and humor, she could let you know with one quick glance that you had entered the danger zone!

Elaine was the president of the PTSO at Largo Elementary school for many years. She organized and ran many fundraisers. A favorite of the community was the bake off! Her cakes were the star of the show and a coveted prize! Need a cake in the shape of a ship, Elaine could do it! Not only were they beautiful, but they were also super tasty. She would delight little girls (her daughter and friends) when baking by giving the beaters, bowl, and spoons to be licked clean. There are many memories of dancing on the braided rug around the kitchen table while licking the batter off the utensils!

After marriage, Elaine only worked for a few years later in life. In addition to all her homemaking tasks, she rolled up her sleeves and joined the workforce to help pay for college for her daughter, Joann. Elaine was the coordinator for all Girl Scout cookie sales for the Southeastern United States! She would meet with the bakers and sample all the cookies. A perk of this position was the availability of those fantastic cookies in the freezer all year.

Elaine was also an avid collector. Of what, you may ask? So many things! Spoons from every state. Charms for every occasion. Stamps. Angles. Christmas tree ornaments. Sheila houses. And the largest collection of all….JEWLRY. Her collections were her memories. They reminded her of her travels, her family, her friends, her hometown (she considered Savannah, Ga to be “home”), her LOVE.

She enjoyed travel and had several “traditional” trips with her friends and family. She loved Lake Junaluska couples’ trips with Sunday school friends, the Pape Cottage on Tybee Island with her special girlfriends, visiting the Emerald Isle coast with her maternal family, MANY cruises, trips “Out West” for family reunions and Thanksgivings. If Elaine could squeeze in a trip…she did. She planned the lengthy family vacations and TRULY understood that the most valuable of all her collections were her memories.

Elaine was an essential member of her community. She volunteered for USO, the local hospital, school committees, church functions, church circles, boy scouts (Den Mother), and more! She managed to do all of this and still have a wonderful (most of the time) dinner on the table by 5:30pm.

Elaine shared many lessons of love, forgiveness, and kindness in her life. If you knew her, you most likely received a gift from her. Not any ordinary gift. Her gifts were always thoughtful and mostly funny! If you are reading this, you are probably right now thinking of that very gift.

As different as Clyde and Elaine were growing up, they were a unified front in raising their own children. They raised their children to be adventurous (play outside and drink from the garden hose), and to participate in things with parental support (church, Young Life, sports, ballet, cheerleading, band, clubs). They taught financial responsibility by expecting their kids to work from the age of 16 and to contribute to the cost of extracurricular activities. Elaine would buy one shoe and her child would buy the other! They believed in having skin in the game! Weekly chores were expected and rewarded with an allowance. They believed in grounding for bad grades. You would disrespect/disobey Clyde or Elaine at your own risk! But they also forgave, and loved, and gave great affection.

As tough as they were as parents, they could not have been softer grandparents. The grandchildren were the light of their lives. They were always generous with their time, their resources, and their love and admiration. They accepted and loved each grandchild in a unique and special way.

Elaine was preceded in death by her beloved Clyde. For two years and nine months she endured life without him. She truly tried to find joy. It was such a difficult season of life for her. The most precious thing anyone could give her after Clyde’s passing was to spend time with her. Her heart was so broken and the ONLY thing that would ease the pain was to talk with another person, laugh with someone else, cry with a friend. It was a rare gift in those last few years. Many of her friends and loved ones had already passed away. Many people who were still here did not possess enough strength, enough empathy, or enough love to give her their time. For each of the people who did, please know that you made her last years bearable. You showed your love, respect, and loyalty when it was most important.

It is just not possible to mention all the wonderful friends and family Clyde and Elaine had. If you have any sort of memory of either of them, please know, you were important to them in their lives. They each lived a full and overflowing 81 ½ years.

Clyde and Elaine are being interred together. Their wishes were for the ashes of the first to pass to be held until the passing of the other half. After death, they wanted their ashes to be mixed (with a special item – if you know, you know!) and buried together in the National Veterans Cemetery in Canton, Ga. Elaine, as the last to pass, asked for a Springtime burial. All their wishes are being honored. Yes, even that one!

The only thing taken from this earthly life is the love in your heart you shared with others. With this in mind, both Clyde and Elaine carried great loads with them into heaven. You are thanked for adding to that load! Let the love Clyde and Elaine shared with each other their families, their friends, and their community be an example for each of us to live by.

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