DEAR DAD

You lived your life thinking that no one cared.You thought you were all alone. I am here to tell you that you were wrong. You may have pissed me off a million times and sometimes I hated you, but  you see Dad., you mattered. I loved you when you were angry and mean. I loved you when you were kind as could be. I loved you not just because I had to. I loved you because you mattered to me. It hurts to know that now you’re gone, and I will never see your face again. I hurt not because I am supposed to. I hurt because you mattered to me. I have to live on each day without you.  I feel the loss  Because you mattered. Your touch, your smile, your funny wit. The times it was just you and me. I will miss you Dad with all my heart. ‘Cause you still matter to me. No one knew the torment that you were going through; I only kept on seeing What I wanted to. I saw the outward smile, but not your inner pain.  I never thought the end was so near. I pray your mental anguish and deep anxieties are  replaced by peace. I know your pain invaded your thoughts, and you cried internally while you struggled with  depression. In turn I want to remember the  good times, not the bad.  I will remember when you smiled at us, and not when you were sad.  So when I think about your life, I won’t dwell upon its ending.  I will remember all the good You did for others,  and forget about life’s blows.  I will remember the assurance, the confidence, and not the past and your irrational fears. Our lives have all been touched Because you’ve been there; So now we leave your memory In God’s all-loving care. I love you because you mattered in all of our lives. Now I send you off to be honored as the veteran you once were. No more pain, no more suffering and no more anger. Lord bless my father,  and forgive him for all of his sins and shortcomings. His faith in you was never forgotten jut lost. I thank you Lord for finally giving him peace. I  pray for strength and peace while we mourn and grieve a future without you here. May we all find a sense of relief knowing  you are finally at rest.  

Love your Daughter 

Joann