Eulogy by Andrew Blum:

I am my mother's son in every sense of the word. Like her, I live by a set of clear principles and practices that I share continuously with everyone I come in contact with.

"If it's cold, you have to keep your neck covered with a scarf. There's nothing like the eggplant parmesan at the Pines of Rome or the Pizza in Rehoboth beach. And by the way, there's no good rye bread in Mill Valley. There can be no home without a dachshund"

These are truths and they are “Harlyne truths” - and we all know them. Another one of Harlyne's truths we all know is that she is absolutely adores beyond all things, her son, me, Andrew. She loves me and I am the center of her world -”the most beautiful baby ever.” This is something everybody knows because above all other principles it is her central truth – and I always knew and I know it now - in this moment. There wasn't a single day in my life where I didn't feel and sense her love in my soul.

The light from that undying, undemanding, ever-present adoration – is the foundation of my life. For many, many years, she was the center of my life, and I was the center of hers. We were one another's only person. Because it was Harlyne and because her love was so vast, that was enough.

Her life was a grand adventure. She always talked about seeing China-Town in San Francisco as a little girl on a trip cross country with her Milwaukee family, the Melchers. She sat in her grandfather’s lap (Papa) on that trip. He had no legs – they had been amputated due to diabetes. When she saw those places she knew immediately that exotic travel was her calling and she went on to travel the world living in Paris, Peru, Puerto Rico and she had quite a time in those days. If you who were lucky enough to hear her stories of romance and adventure it was like joining her on the back of a scooter in Rome with a handsome Italian or in a café in Paris with a Moroccan Casanova. I followed in her footsteps there too and had the same clarity of purpose when I saw my first Grateful Dead show – I just knew it was for me and like her, I followed that calling to a life of adventure and romance.

In many ways her love was a unique and pure love. It wasn’t manufactured or engineered, it just was. In high school our apartment in Triangle Towers was a place of refuge. My friends would come to apartment 809 and play Grateful Dead music. It was a small two-bedroom apartment and, yes, we would smoke pot and sometimes drink beer, and my mother was there.

She never really intervened. The narrative was that she was oblivious or just tuned it out or didn't want to deal with the issue of disciplining us or stopping us from smoking pot in the house – but I came to see it wasn't that at all. She just loved me and loved having the boys close to her. In the face of that love those transgressions were meaningless. Just to lay on the other side of the wall, just to be near us and hear our laughter and know we were safe was more than enough.

That is how my mother loved. And that is how I love my children. That is the gift of Harlyne passed onto me and a gift that lives on through her and because of her. Lisa and Leo and Lila are her legacy. And she delights in the dark beauty of Lila who will be the beneficiary of all her beloved jewelry – and the Louis Vuitton trunk – purchased at the Thieves Market in Arlington for $75 will be in our family room.

Harlyne was a great friend...Mrs. Gasner, Lorraine, Susan, Mrs Gill. The list goes on and on. Her friendships were measured in decades and lifetimes – and I followed her there too. I knew them all and all who knew her were touched by her down-to-earth authenticity, her humor and her sense of the world and we will miss her and every one of us is better for having know her.

Dearest mother, may your passage be peaceful and without aggravation. “Enough already.” I know Scot is waiting for you with a cup of tea and a smile and a Hi Har! We will go on, but we will miss you. We will really miss you.

I love you Mother...

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