In the wake of her son’s death, my grandma stepped in to help my mom raise me and my younger brothers. For a time, she was the only consistency we had during all of our shared grief of the loss of my amazing dad. She was…. Tenacious. Witty. Bold. Stern and firm but always the same. You knew what to expect with my grandma and what you saw was what you got. I always found comfort in that. She gave me my first ice cream cone as a baby. She always stood at the end of the driveway by her mailbox with a smile waiting for us to get off the school bus. Then it was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with lays bbq potato chips inside on wonder bread, and chores helping plant bulbs in the yard, raking leaves, helping put away patio furniture before the rain came, and listening to the O’Reily factor on the news while we did homework. When we were home sick from school she’d lay a cool sheet out on the green couch and let us pick a show on the boomerang channel or Cartoon Network. Usually Tom and Jerry or The Jetsons. Winters were filled with night time Rickreall Christmas Pageant practices and hallmark movies. Her jeep always smelled like cherry halls cough drops when she’d pick us up. Summers were visits to value village, helping take cans and bottles to the recycling center in Monmouth, doll shows and flea markets. As I got older we shared secrets about boys and risky business and laughed so hard together. She was always in my corner. She never liked my tattoos piercings and dyed hair but she saw me through them and realized what my spirit was. I always knew she was there no questions asked. When life got too much and I felt the world spinning around I’d walk through that front door unannounced for a ‘quick visit’ and end up melted into a recliner next to her for six hours talking about… everything. She loved to talk to people. She was at every ballgame, volleyball practices, recitals, etc… as time flew by and life went on, I was the only grandkid close to home for a few years. I had the privilege of helping drive her to dialysis appointments and we’d get to talking and I’d accidentally drive us to the beach!! She loved everyone in her life and family meant everything to her. Grandmas love language was quality time. And that has always been pretty much all I had to offer anyone. She saw good in me and nourished the best parts of me through the dark. I struggled, and she never looked down on me or made me feel bad. I will greatly feel her absence in my life and there is a hole that will be there forever. I hope I can see her in the sky and feel her sometimes the way I feel my dad. I know she is up there rejoicing with him, her sister, my grandma Gail and Jesus.

Grandma and me laughing at one of our family white elephant parties that she adored so much

Eileen is my aunt, older sister of my Mom Kathy. Our families spent a lot of time together growing up. My generation of the family is chock full of boys. So many boys! One of my proudest moments happened when I was in my late teens and I realized that Eileen saw me as one of the grown up women instead of just one of the kids. She was a strong, magnanimous woman who would do anything for her family. I wish I had seen more of her in recent years and will miss her very much.