Tajir! It’s your birthday. 

It’s funny that your birthday is on 4/20. I spent the night looking through pictures and I felt happy because it took me back to the moments those memories were made but as soon as I was done I realized, they were exactly that, just memories. 

I’ll never get to hear your voice again or see your handsome smile. I can’t create new moments, or grow old with you. 

Not a single day goes by without me thinking of you. Nothing has hurt more than you being taken from us. Life hasn’t made sense since and never will. 

Happy birthday Dante. You are and will forever be my favorite brother and one of my favorite people. I loved everything about you. And still do. You made me so happy and proud. I will always cherish your life and mourn so much that you didn’t get to experience. 

I see today as one of the greatest celebrations because you are just that special. 

I wish I could hug you and never let you go. 

I love you my brother. I hope you never get tired of me talking to you and about you because I’ll never stop. 

Don’t ever leave me. ♥️

(Happy birthday to you cha cha cha) 

It’s about to be June and although I never want to accept that date as some sort of anniversary, my brain won’t let the significance go. I have yet to come to terms with you being gone or referring to you in past tense. It feels like doing that removes the fullness of who you are and will always be. I can’t think of you as being permanently gone. It’s not denial but just refusal. It seems so wrong to do that. It is so wrong because everything about this is wrong. You deserve to be alive. You deserve to experience the whole complete journey you’ve been robbed of.

 I think about you everyday but have no one to talk about you with. I wish my world could be surrounded by people who would never get tired of talking about you. Sometimes I think about posting on these sites to share my thoughts and questions that I wish I could share with you but I know it won’t make sense…

 I pray you hug Mom and Dad every night and you give each baby a kiss for me. I wish I could just fix it all for them. 

 I love you beyond what love could ever mean. Thank you for all you are and will always be. I hope you are okay wherever you are now…