In memory of

Christopher Vito Gesualdi

Los Angeles, CA

1980 - April 4, 2026

1980 - Apr 4, 2026

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In memory of

Christopher Vito Gesualdi

Passed

April 4, 2026
Born

1980
Resided

Los Angeles, CA

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Sadly this week our dear Christopher passed away in a tragic printing press accident after trying to make love to the machine. His penis was totally flattened - which was surprising because nobody understood how he was able to penetrate the rollers with such a small penis.

He put the freak in freak accident. The age of the printing press is unconfirmed. He lost a lot of blood pretty quick, but he was not prepared for the ANTIFA terrorists who burned down the building he was trapped inside. Suspicions are that the arson was revenge by the trans community for his protest stunt.

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Join us on April 20th for the funeral. In his honour we ask all guests to dress as either Hitler or their favourite Rippaverse character. Remember to bring your kids, Vito loved kids, and would be so excited to see them all wrestling on the bounce house. There will be a paddling pool so remember your swimming trunks! Pet-o's only.