Dear Friends and Families,

Facebook Live Link for Charles' Funeral:

https://www.facebook.com/1000…

Yang (Linda) Chen

Dear Friends and Families,

I would like to share his story with you on how he fought caner, how he lived his life in such a difficult condition for 8 years.

Charles was diagnosed stage-4 ALK-lung cancer in 2005. What happened to him was so dramatic. That day, in the morning he received his annual physical exam report from his private clinic and the doctor told him “congratulation, this is your best report in the six years”. He was so happy to share this with me. But in the afternoon, the doctor at CHUM told him they found a tumour in his lung. It's like from white to black suddenly and it’s really hard to take two pieces of the opposite news in a few hours. He told me, after we left the doctor’s office, that he would be still here with daughter and me in the next five years. He was so lucky that he found the medications for his ALK-lung cancer shortly. The medication worked wonderfully for the first 5 years and he became a miracle because he still as usually was very dedicated to his work on which he had so much passion and he traveled to many countries with daughter and me and he climbed Mont Pelée (Martinique) and Machu Picchu (Peru) and the Great Wall (China). He started the combination treatment 3 years ago, ie. Medication + Chemotherapy. Unfortunately he died with septic shock in the end. The day when he died was also dramatic. He had an appointment at 1:00pm to drain the fluid in his lung for 45 minutes. At 2:00pm, the nurse sent him to emergency to check the blisters on his swelling legs and lower body which no doctor confirmed what caused the swelling after all scans. The blisters started occurring only on the morning of March 15, 2023 that was two days before his death. He suffered extreme pain due to the swellings and broken skins, so he had to take morphines every 4 hours in his last two days. After his staying in the emergency for about one hour, I was asked to come to see him. I only left him alone for 2 hours at the hospital and he looked like a totally different person when I saw him again. He was very weak with the oxygen mask on and his blood pressure was very low. When the doctor told him he was in a critical state and would die in a day or days. He himself also was so shocked and told me he could not believe that because in the morning we planned to stop at the residence to get the letters left for his Mom on our way back home and tomorrow go to school to pick up our daughter together. We never expected that afternoon dramatically changed everything. On my way back home in hurry to pick up a few items for his coming stays until the end of his life, the doctor called and told me “your husband only have hours and he may die instantly”. I even didn’t how I drove for almost 2 hours back to the hospital when I heard that. At the moment when I was out of the parking lot at CHUM, I was told that he died with septic shock just now. He even didn’t have time to leave a word to daughter and me. I was told that actually an hour before he died, he was totally unconscious, like was asleep deeply with holding the last breath to wait for me. It is hard for me to write this because I couldn’t help crying again but I think his friends and families want to know what happened to him and his death was such a shock. He had cancer but he seemed "healthy" and still very active and productive with the help of the medication. That’s why I want to share this with all of you.

Charles is a great husband, a wonderful father, a great friend to his friends and a generous son to his Mom and Aunt whom he took care of for almost 30 years on his own.

He told me he would fight this very hard to be there with us more than five years. He promised and he did. During those 8 years, I saw a super strong person, always positive, fighting in the dark but bringing the sunshine to families and friends. He was a miracle and his journey on fighting cancer was very inspiring and brought hope for others in a similar situation. During the past 8 years, he studied hard on the new coming possible treatments. he read a lot of papers and attended the international conference on the ALK-positive. He even participated in marathon twice organized by CHUM during 8 years. The day before he passed away, he insisted on going downstairs to his office to work even if he physically suffered the severe pain. I said, "you can take a day off, even healthy people when they are sick due to a bad cold, they can take a rest for a day, say nothing of your situation". He said, "I need to write a few emails and I need to work, I still want to be creative". After a while, I could see a lot of liquid from his body accumulated on the floor where he sat in his office because the water came out through his skin, through the blisters. I know he is always a strong-willed person but at that moment, I have to say I almost cried because of his perseverance beyond my imagination. Charles Despins, my beloved husband, passed away at CHUM at 10:00pm on March 16, 2023, and the doctor officially declared his death on 12:10am on March 17, 2023.

That is life and one never knows what will happen tomorrow. That' why Charles always told me, life is now, don’t look back, always look forward. We had many beautiful and happy memories even more during those difficult eight years. In those years, we learned how to cherish what we have, to support one another, to be positive and to be strong, never give up and still keep dreams. Yes. he didn't give up his dream, any project he set for himself and even by the end of life, he encouraged me to complete that dream which is the one with me together.

Those memories will support daughter and me to be strong and we will keep living our lives positively that I believe is what he wants to see when he is in heaven.

He was, is and will be a great blessing for daughter and me.

In the end, I want to thank all friends and families who send their condolences.

Yang (Linda) CHEN