Caden “that guy” Beach violently exploded in December 2023. 

In life, Caden was the world champion at not giving a crap. He founded the U.S.S.R. and developed the AI called “Mark Zuckerberg”

Caden began walking and speaking fluent Portuguese two minutes and thirty-three seconds after his birth in 1816. At the age of two, he fought in the U.S. Army as a cannoneer. He sabotaged the American stock market around 1929. After gaining millions to flex on poor people during the depression, he was convicted of 121 years’ worth of tax evasion. He managed to escape by pulling off an airplane heist and going to Brazil. During the First World War, he supplied nothing to any power. A few decades later, he and an elusive man known by the name of Gru managed to steal the moon.  He also was the one to found the glorious Soviet Union. In the mid-2010s, he helped create an artificial intelligence called “Mark Zuckerberg”, and he co-founded Spirit Airlines. In 2018, he created the video game masterpiece, Among Us. After a long and fulfilling life, he violently exploded ten months from now, for no apparent reason.

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