Read Brenda L. Higa's Obituary & Leave Condolences

In memory of

Brenda L. Higa

Seattle, WA

1946 - February 7, 2021

1946 - Feb 7, 2021

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Brenda was born in Long Beach, California on November 17, 1946 and although she began and ended her time on this earth in California, it was Seattle, Washington that she called home. It is where she grew up, lived, worked, and loved. Brenda attended school at Holy Names Academy and at the age of 18 became a postulant at the Sisters of Providence. Before taking her vows, she found a different calling that led her in a new direction. When asked about her time at the Sisters of Providence, Brenda used to joke, “the vows of silence were a little difficult.” Brenda went on to get her Bachelors of Science degree at Seattle University and Masters Degree at the University of Washington.

It was in Seattle, that Brenda met her husband Melvin, a fellow teacher and member of an Asian American teachers association. He was a musician who brought out Brenda’s artistic side. Even though she claimed she couldn’t sing –her family knew she had the ear. Brenda’s mom, Juanita, often talked about meeting her future son-in-law for the first time. She recalled seeing Brenda and Mel at the park sitting on a picnic blanket, looking completely content and relaxed together. The artist and the scientist brought the best out in each other, and passed their love of music, dancing, food, and education to their daughters Meda and Maring.

Brenda led with love. She took in and became ‘mom’ to several adopted daughters --gifting Maring and Meda with an extended family of sisters . There is no greater testament to this than her relationship with Annika Fain. Brenda and Mel made Annika a part of the Higa family when she lost her own mom at the age of 6. Annika, Meda, and Maring played together, got in trouble together, and loved each other fiercely in only the way sisters can . Annika came on family vacations, was frequently a plus one for meals, and slept over rather frequently. Brenda loved Annika and it made her so happy that even after Meda and Maring left Seattle, her daughter Annika would come and stay with her and called the Higa house her home.

Brenda's fierce love of others beyond herself fueled her passion for education. For 45 years, she was an educator in the Seattle Public Schools where she fiercely advocated for making math and science accessible to under-represented communities. This passion gave life to a second career as an education consultant with Washington MESA. Brenda knew that education changed lives and took pride in making sure that her students had access to the best math and science education possible. She infused her love of knowledge in her students, daughters, and those around her. Her belief in the power of education anchored and guided her. When Meda tried to delay college to be with family before Mel passed away from cancer in 1994, Brenda said, “No. Your dad wouldn’t want that for you. Your education is too important.” Despite the adversity and heartbreak, Brenda put education and the needs of her children first.

Brenda was a student of life and the world, who loved going on adventures with her daughters and friends. She’d plan family campouts and took part in her daughters’ Camp Fire experiences. She traveled the world and chaperoned trips to France, Mexico, and Costa Rica. She had a bucket list that included Rome and the Merrie Monarch Festival in Hawaii. Sometimes she was even a tourist in the cities where her daughters lived --often adopting her daughters’ friends and going on excursions with them and without her daughters.

When Brenda laughed and smiled it lit up the room and showed you a piece of her soul. Everyone witnessed this magic during moments big and small. We saw it in the proud mama smile as she celebrated her daughters’ every accomplishment --good report cards, graduations, certificate ceremonies, and the start of new jobs. We saw it in the teary-eyed joyous look of contentment as she watched both her daughters get ready for their weddings. It was in the mischievous look and sideways grin when she got to mercilessly tease her friends, daughters, grandkids, and students. We saw the magic even in the moments where she exercised the trademark Higa stubbornness and insistently asserted that, “come hell or high water” she’d do it her way. That fierceness, stubbornness, and resolve were all part of the way she loved. While this type of love sometimes led to emotional distancing and things not said, it never meant that she didn’t hold those she loved in her heart.

Life wasn’t always easy for Brenda, but she was resilient to her core. Her seemingly tough exterior quickly gave way to her loving, generous, and kind nature. Kūhai Hālau O Leikukuiokalani Pā ‘Ōlapa Kahiko, her chosen hula family, brought her so much love, joy and laughter. They reignited her faith and surrounded her with a love that she returned in kind. Brenda used to say that her co-worker Rae dragged her along and introduced her to her “Sisters in Crime.” Of course, when asked, Brenda would never disclose exactly what those crimes were and would just smile. Hula wasn’t just a hobby, it was a family that supported her unconditionally.

Behind the trademark stern teacher stare she used when pretending to be strict with her grandkids, was a one-of-a-kind love that only a Lola could give her grandkids. She might pretend to ‘discipline’ Gage, Ryu, Mia and Rainer, but when it came down to it, her grandkids melted her heart. She baked cookies with Ryu and read to him all the time over Facetime when they were apart. Mia would jump in bed and snuggle with her Lola in the middle of the night. A visit from Lola always meant a new book (or three) for Gage. The last time Rainier visited his Lola in Seattle, Brenda told him he couldn’t have any more chips and he cried. Every time after that, when Lola sent one of her infamous care packages, there would inevitably be bags of chips in it just for Raini.

Leaving Seattle was the most difficult decision Brenda ever made–she didn’t want to leave her home. If there was a silver lining, it was that she had the opportunity to heal, strengthen, and grow her relationship with her daughter, Maring. This last year Brenda and Maring found an understanding of one another, learned about the women they were now, and grew closer because they brought out a lot of the good things in each other. They even developed a routine – everyday Maring would get Starbucks and bring her mom back a matcha green tea latte and a lemon loaf. Brenda and Maring’s husband Nick also became closer while baking bread, feeding the chickens and doting over the houseplants together.

How do you capture a life well lived in just a few short pages? In the end, we smile and laugh remembering the look of unrequited joy and contentment as she held each of her grandkids for the first time; her obsession with scarves; love of hula; and affection for lavender. We know that each time the family eats a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake (her favorite), we’ll remember teasing her about the fact that in the morning, we’d inevitably open up the freezer and find that all the trim was missing from the leftover cake because sometime between putting it away and waking up Brenda had eaten the trim off. When asked about the missing trim, Brenda would respond, “the real question is why were you trying to pull the cake out in the morning?”

While our hearts hurt, we find solace in knowing she spent her last week with her entire family doing the things she loved. She walked with us, caught a sunrise from Mount Helix, watched a sunset over the ocean, and ate a lot of good food. In fact, she claims that Zak made the best adobo she’s ever had --that’s high praise from our foodie mom. She bought Raini a pinata for his early birthday celebration and joyfully watched as the grandkids went to town on the green car piñata. You should know that the piñata had lots of stuff in it --but Lola made sure it was filled with bags of chips just for Raini. Most importantly, she was surrounded by love, laughter, and family.

We were blessed by her love and compassion and inspired by her bravery and the fact that she chose love over despair each day. She taught us that overcoming obstacles only requires more creativity. She shaped who we are as daughters, teachers, mothers, wives. She modeled the strength, kindness, dedication, and passion that we want to pass on to her grandchildren. We miss and love you, mom.

Our family thanks you for all your kindness, love, and support. We ask that in lieu of flowers, please consider making memorial donations to the program our mother loved, the Washington MESA program. You can reach their program here: https://tinyurl.com/aqkragm6

A memorial celebration of Brenda Higa’s life will be announced at a later date.

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