Memories of Barbara "Barb" Inez Van Vranken Wolfe

In memory of

Barbara "Barb" Inez Van Vranken Wolfe

Bermuda Run, NC, USA

January 28, 1933 - December 7, 2018

Jan 28, 1933 - Dec 7, 2018

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Gregory Wolfe

The Wolfe siblings with Dad

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Gregory Wolfe

Dad giving his eulogy to Mom

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Gregory Wolfe

Woodlawn Cemetery, Wellesley, MA

June 25, 2019, EULOGY shared by Corby Wolfe at the interment ceremony for his wife Barbara. He was surrounded by their four children (& their partners) and his cousins Carol Davis (& her family).
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I’m going to be very brief - for your sake, for my sake, and, most important, that’s what Mom would have wanted. This graveside service is a departure from the traditional that you might have attended in the past. No member of the clergy, no readings from the scripture, no final blessing. Just the presence and love of family.

Before I get accused of being too cheap to pay for a visiting minister, let me try to explain. Mom’s wish after she’s gone, stated on more than a few occasions, was to have no funeral, no memorial service, no religious rituals. Just a simple, informal ceremony at the family plot surrounded by the ones she loved, and then on to a family celebration. The last thing she would have wanted would have been to have some stranger who she didn’t know or who didn’t know her presiding over the proceedings. So here we are, doing our best to fulfill her wishes. Your being here goes a long way toward that end. Let me begin my remarks with a quote which I found to be particularly meaningful for me from the Italian-American author and educator Angelo Patri:

"In one sense there is no death. The life of a soul on earth lasts beyond departure. You will always feel that life touching yours, that voice speaking to you. She lives on in your life and in the lives of all others that knew her."

A little bit about spirituality from a personal standpoint. Mom Wolfe was raised a Catholic, but when we moved to Longmeadow she became totally disenchanted with the Catholic Church, its doctrine and practices, so she converted and became a confirmed Episcopalian. She was also influenced by her belief that a family should attend church together and pray together. When we moved to Toledo, we both became very active and involved in St. Michaels Episcopal Church. It was a very rewarding and fulfilling spiritual experience for both of us when you kids were growing up. When we moved to North Carolina, we were unable to find a church where we felt comfortable or at home, and we also were having trouble understanding the positions being taken on some of the key issues of the times by many of the religious denominations, including the Episcopal faith. Call it a burn-out or a cop-out, but we parted company with the structured church.

So what is spirituality anyway? I don’t claim to know and wouldn’t attempt an explanation. All I believe is if loving and caring for others before one’s self is considered spiritual, if being totally devoted to spouse, children, grandchildren, family, and friends is considered spiritual, if being compassionate and understanding of those in trouble or need is considered spiritual, if greeting people with a warm smile and friendly hello is considered spiritual, if enjoying and appreciating life and the world around you is considered spiritual, if lighting up a room with joy and laughter is considered spiritual, if believing there is a Higher Authority that created and oversees life on this planet is considered spiritual, then Barbara Wolfe is perhaps among the most spiritual individuals I have met in my lifetime. She was all of that, and more. She was a poster child for the biblical expression to love thy neighbor as thyself. Oh, she wasn’t perfect. Like all of us human beings she had a few glitches in her beliefs and style, but they were minuscule compared to the positive impact she had on the world around her.

I could go on indefinitely, but I don’t intend to. I see no need to because most of you knew her so well that I would only be elaborating on what you already know and feel about her. There are no words from a personal standpoint to describe the impact of her loss. I’ve been blessed in so many ways throughout my life, but none compares to the blessing of having her as my soulmate for 64 years. That’s almost 75% of my time on this earth, and it was nothing short of a miracle that I found her. It was a true love affair.

So we’re all on our own journey of grief over the loss of this special lady - wife, mother, grandmother, and friend. I’ve been told that once you get through the severe pain of the early days, your thoughts will start to drift more to the good times, the precious memories, the fun, the laughter, and the joy of your life together. I’m wanting to believe that’s starting to happen with me. Will we meet again in another life? That’s a question that goes far beyond my intellectual grade level to attempt an answer. Let me put it as simply as I know how, I’m planning on it. And knowing her, she will have one of her famous surprise parties all arranged before I arrive, with Marylou Fox as her co-chairman.

As we prepare to place Mom in her final earthly resting place, I would like to quote from a saying that was sent to me in a condolence note from an old high school classmate and a good friend of Cousin Carol.

"Mourn not that she is gone. Rather, rejoice that she was here"

That’s exactly what she would want us to do together. God Bless you my love. Rest in peace. You’ve more than earned it in your earthly life.

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In lieu of flowers, consider a gift to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF).

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Trish Beazley Sanders

Love to all the Wolfies... So very sorry when I heard your dear mom was gone. Mr Wolfe...as you said to dad...so many memories! What wonderful neighbors you were! I had so much fun babysitting for you all! I remember your mom and dad coming home...you girls would scamper to bed as they pulled up and Fanny would slink from his favorite chair...and look so guilty as they came in. My memories of Barb are of a beautiful, kind, and loving woman...a wonderful example for a young neighbor! Love and hugs to you all in this oh so tough time! Trish Beazley Sanders

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Jackie Wolfe

Mimi and Pop

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Amy Vanderbilt

Dear Corb, Sally, Terry, Greg and Tim -

My heartfelt condolences as you say goodbye to your wife/mother. Barb was an enchanting woman who raised four tremendous children and was a model wife. I have so many fond memories of happy times at the Wolfe household in Sylvania, OH, in the 1970's. Peace be with you all during this time of mourning and celebration.

All my love, Amy Vanderbilt

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Gregory Wolfe

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Gregory Wolfe

Mom's college graduation picture, 1953 Mom's college graduation picture, 1953 Mom's college graduation picture, 1953

Gregory Wolfe

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Gregory Wolfe

Barb & Corb's wedding in Brooklyn, NY, 1955 Barb & Corb's wedding in Brooklyn, NY, 1955 Barb & Corb's wedding in Brooklyn, NY, 1955

Gregory Wolfe

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Gregory Wolfe

The Wolfe Family, 1965 The Wolfe Family, 1965 The Wolfe Family, 1965

Amy Vanderbilt

This was one year before I first met Sally at Old Orchard Elementary. What a wonderful family portrait! This was one year before I first met Sally at Old Orchard Elementary. What a wonderful family portrait! This was one year before I first met Sally at Old Orchard... Read more

Jane (Kennedy) Cline

This photo is how I remember your mom and your family. I always came to pick up Sally on the way to school.... Read more This photo is how I remember your mom and your family. I always came to pick up Sally on the way to school. We walked to Old ... Read more This photo is how I remember your mom and your family.... Read more

Gregory Wolfe

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Gregory Wolfe

Wolfe Family Reunion in Emerald Isle, NC, 2010 Wolfe Family Reunion in Emerald Isle, NC, 2010 Wolfe Family Reunion in Emerald Isle, NC, 2010

Amy Vanderbilt

This wonderful couple was like a second pair of parents to me during our high school years. This wonderful couple was like a second pair of parents to me during our high school years. This wonderful couple was like a second pair of parents... Read more

Gregory Wolfe

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Amy Vanderbilt

Love this family/clan. Love this family/clan. Love this family/clan.

Mollie Musbach

I’m so saddened to hear of the loss of this precious mom, wife and grandma! I have so many fond memories ... Read more I’m so saddened to hear of the loss of this precious mom, wife and grandma! I have so many fond memories of Mrs. Wolfe from Hopewell... Read more I’m so saddened to hear of the loss of this precious... Read more

Penny Sitler

Your warm and wonderful family is being lifted up in prayers and virtual hugs hoping they will bring you ... Read more Your warm and wonderful family is being lifted up in prayers and virtual hugs hoping they will bring you some comfort as you say... Read more Your warm and wonderful family is being lifted up in... Read more