I can not even fathom how we even got  here at this place and time, or that I am sitting here having to write my condolences to your family on a site like this! I’m in complete shock and my heart is shattered into a thousand pieces because you are no longer here with us, with me….and I don’t understand how?!??! And I don’t know WHY??!!?? 

I would give  anything if we could just go  back to a week ago today on Monday evening, when you were at my house  visiting and sitting across from me at my kitchen table while we were laughing and you were going on and on speaking your “Amoneeze” while trying the  tell me about a certain thing that had happened earlier that day….and yes, I was definitely sitting there looking at you like you did not have a clue what you were even taking about as well, like we often found was the case when you were on a roll and I would be  just sitting there trying to follow along with you lol…. and without missing a beat you just looked over at me said “Now listen here Kimikins” don’t you be lookin all sideway googleyeyed at me, missy! It ain’t my fault you didn’t take the time to educate yourself or broaden your horizons by learning how to interpret other languages even if it was “Your own special Language that could never be taught!” But you still said that  I needed to figure it out and catch up because this is just how I talk and you know thats a fact by now Missy!” and meanwhile Kenny was in the other room listening to all of our shenanigans and  mouthing something about how ate up we BOTH were….lol and in perfect unison we both hollered back at  him….“Hush it your JUST JELLY” because you can’t be as cool as us!!” and then we laughed until we could hardly breathe….., as we always did when we were together at some point no matter what was being talked about or how serious the moment was, before it was all said and done we laughed until our sides were literally almost splitting open every time!☺️🙃😛🤣😅😂

And then once we could finally catch our breath, you started all over again bound and determined at finishing your story in Your own  language, Amoneeze…..and in what I now know and realize at this exact moment, was that quirky, although admittingly also sometimes very hard to follow along with lingo that only you could spew out of your mouth like it was literally your second, if not first language, was just your special way of putting a positive and comical twist on any conversation, no matter what kind it was or how serious it started out being especially some of the ones that you were subjected to by  me….! Because you were ALWAYS there to listen and ALWAYS there to show how much you cared, even if you didn’t have any answers to my multiple problems or solutions for my “crisis of the week”  lol you still were ALWAYS my ONE CONSTANT in my life that I knew would do everything possible to be there even if it was just so I had an outlet and someone who I could vent and get it all out too…and yes also speak you're Amoneeze too…🥰 .Thats was just who you were for and to me, and I tried my very best to be that for and to you as much as I possibly could as well! 

And I want to go back to that evening and NOT LET YOU WALK OUT MY FRONT DOOR! I want to grab you and make you stay there speaking your Amoneeze for an eternity, no mater how far behind I may be or how much I sit there and just laugh and shake my head and just agree with you when I have no idea to what I am agreeing with! I would do it for  hours days, months,….for eternity if it somehow could and would keep us all from being here where we are now and would keep you HERE WITH US , WITH ME! 

This world was so much BRIGHTER while you and your beautiful soul was in it! And it sure got whole hell of a lot DARKER the moment  you left it ! Especially MINE! 

And no matter how much I wish and pray and scream and cry and try to make it be, it’s never going to ever be the same again! I will forever love you, my very  bestest and truest friend and I will forever miss you and all the joy and laughter you brought into my life for so many years. I do hope you are at peace and I hope you are looking down from where you are and that you somehow keep watching over us and somehow send us a sign to let everyone that you left behind in this cold world without you know  that Mamma Bear does still got each and everyone of us even if it isn’t in person and with you here with us like you always were before! 

Fly high and know that I will carry you in my heart and in my soul as long as I live and I will try my best to continue to spread your special love of life and also try to remember to look at life and everyone and every situation like you always did and seemed to be able to continue to  believe, with the unwavering endless faith that only someone as special and rare like you could have,  and try to remember what you always said  “that there is always something good in everything, every situation, and yes…even  everyone of those HUMANS that I used to tell you almost on the daily that I absolutely despised with every part of my being these days😉 too, if we only cared to take the time to see it and recognize it! 

Although true to form my dear…. I’m sorry but I have to beg to differ with that yet again… because there’s nothing that I can find, no matter how hard, or how much time I take to try to look for it, or force myself to recognize it….there’s just absolutely nothing that I can find that is GOOD  about you never being here again!! I’m Sorry, and yes my dear… there’s that “Miss Negative Nellie” rearing  her ugly head again….but hey what can I say…you always knew  I always sucked at being the positive one lady!! 

But that’s why I was so very grateful that you came into my life, because it was your friendship and positive spirit and the way you seen the good in every situation no matter how bad it was, while I on the other hand always seemed to allow the bad to weigh me down and couldn’t hep but think negatively about everything, your sweet souls and positive outlook on everything in life, good or bad, is what  balanced me and my life out,  And now that you are gone I am so very afraid that I will forever remain on tilt!!😞

 But I WILL STILL TRY MY BEST to find a way to not go tumbling  off end to end, and keep it together like I always told you I would my beautiful friend! 

My condolences to all your family and loved ones! I was so very grateful to have Amy in my life for so long and beyond BLESSED to have had the PRIVILEGE to call her one of  MY VERY BEST FRIENDS

!! Luv ya 4-Eva Amos! Xoxo 😘