June was a long month. The beginning was filled with many difficult “last” one-year marks. The last phone call, the last text, the last hug. Up until June 5th, I was able to look back at the pictures on Anna’s phone and see what she had been doing just one year before on any date; a walk with Quincy, a trip with Weston, dinner with Mina, a delicious dish she was about to eat, a beautiful view. Little precious and priceless snapshots into her life. Now that more than a year has passed, memories have to be brought in from 2023, which feels, obviously, much farther away.

I think of Anna every hour of every day. She is the last thing I think about at night and my first thought in the morning. I have cried every day since she left. Time has not lessened the pain. I get through my days by doing things to honor her. I feel her guiding me and can often hear her voice in my head advising me on all the little things she used to advise me on; what to wear, what to eat, what to do, but most importantly, how to live. Anna really knew how to live.

Our family has done our best to honor Anna in different ways over the past year. She has a butterfly garden in her name through the San Juan Preservation Trust. We have planted a flower and vegetable garden to honor her at Overmarsh Farm. We have also planted a summer garden in her little garden box, surrounded by lilacs and fruit trees in our yard. We worked with Friday Harbor High School to have one of her drawings and a plaque hung in the school library. We worked with our favorite Island artist, Nancy Spaulding, to create a pastel painting of Anna’s favorite things, people, and places. We used her photographs to create a calendar and her watercolors to create cards. We have been baking with and sharing her sourdough starter with friends and family across the nation. I have used her jewelry supplies and paints to create and share art I know she would love. We have stuck together here at our little home on San Juan and taken care of Quincy and ourselves because we know that is what Anna would want.

We also know all the ways friends and family have honored her as well, remembered her, kept her in their thoughts and hearts and lives. It is always very comforting when someone reaches out to let me know they were thinking of her. Perhaps they saw a butterfly or a beautiful sunset, are wearing something of hers somewhere special, or ordered her favorite dish at dinner. There have been donations made in her name, bicycle rides in her honor, photos framed, flowers planted, candles lit, trips taken to special places she loved, and countless more in ways that we may never know. We appreciate the ways that we have been supported too, and are grateful for our friends, family, and communities that continue to give us love and grace.

Thank you to everyone for all you do and have done. We know life is short; the world reminds us of that every day. We hope you are finding some joy, beauty, and purpose in your days and are sending love and gratitude to you all. 

A year ago on may 13th, I set foot on San Juan Island for the first time. After several months of feeling weary and fearful of trying something new, my friend Anna convinced me I should just do it. I remember my first day on the island well. I followed anna to her sweet childhood home on Dallas mountain. She stopped on the way to buy her mom flowers for mothers day. That was the first time I met Kimberly. I remember the sun of that evening, and feeling like I was starting a new chapter with this wonderful girl I had met during the winter. I trusted her in that this island was something so beautiful and that I couldn’t miss out. And boy was she so right. I remember that same evening she took me to lime kiln, and told me that she knew in her heart it was going to be a place i would love. We planned to spend the summer sunbathing naked in front of her tiny house she had built, a new garden she had planted, and even new fence for sweet quincy. We planned days i could come help her water the plants and nights to have fires. That night i called my mom and couldn’t stop my smiles as i told her I had made the right choice. Anna made the right choice for me. It was so clear that she just wanted to share this place. And im so extremely lucky that I was a person she wanted to share it with. Im so thankful. And a year later I am back to this island again. I have such a profound love for this place and the earth and the ocean and sky here. And I can say confidently say Anna gave that to me. 

This time of year reminds me of change and sweetness and her. And always always will.