My grandmother Alicia Figueroa would’ve turned 98 this year on 9/27/22 but God decided to take her home with Him.

 I’m sure she is relieved, she’d always tell me if she ended up in a bed that it be better if they’d kill her to which I’d always respond ayy abuela don’t say that! She was a lively woman, driving was her favorite thing to do and many nights she shopped at Walmart when it was 24 hours and stayed til 1 am in el carrito eléctrico (the electric shopping cart) or come to my house and eat dinner and stay late then go home. She always got out of traffic tickets with a box of pastelitos! She loved Kmart too and wasn’t happy when the one close to us went out of business. 

She was smart, beautiful, tough, brutally honest and brave. She suffered a lot in this life some things I know and others I’m sure she took with her to the grave as we all have private pain that we never share with a living soul. She went through things that most of us haven’t yet experienced and some things that we hope to never experience. 

She lost friends over the years to illnesses. Her mother, father, brothers, and sister that she cherished passed away and she continued on. Her husband passed away tragically while their 2 children were very young. She was forced out of her country Caibarien, Cuba stripped of the life she knew, the wealth she had. In a new country raising 2 small children was intimidating and unnerving but she did her best, Although most of us would be critical and say she could’ve done better (to which I say we can all do better).

She was perfectly imperfect yet I still miss and love her very much, I still wish I could give her another hug or a kiss. I’m sure we all do now that we don’t have her. That’s usually the way it goes right? You don’t miss someone until they’re gone. Yes she made bad choices like we all do, yes she said things that were wrong like we all do. She did a lot of good things too though she gave whatever she could give and at times even what she couldn’t give especially to her kids and grandkids. 

Abuela used to make the best torrejas and macarrones con jamón! I will definitely miss those dishes! My grandma was truly a one of a kind woman; One minute she loved you the next she didn’t want to hear mention of your name. She was strong willed and argumentative yet she loved with all her heart, (maybe that’s why it was so broken) it was hard to see it most of the time, but looking back and looking closely, her actions spoke more than her words and her attitude. She was highly opinionated [now I understand where I get it from :)] she is kind of like an onion when you peeled back the layers she’d make your eyes sting and cry but once you get her warmed up to you she’d become sweet and tender.

 Many people leave a person who is difficult and dry when really it’s a cry for love they need to be loved, we all need that! I sit here in tears sad yet at peace it’s so weird. Sad because she’s gone and I won’t here her say my favorite lines of hers “apaga y vete” or when she didn’t like someone she’d say “eso es meado de hicotea“ (that person is frog piss) LOL but at peace because she’s not sad anymore, she’s not miserable anymore. She’s with her family, friends, daughter, and best of all Jesus Christ! I’m going to miss calling her and hearing her say she hadn’t heard from me in a long time even though we had talked a week before, I’m going to miss washing her clothes or taking them to the laundry mat, I’m going to miss her laugh and her smile and the love she showed my kids; her great grandkids. Im going to miss visiting her during dinner time and having to reheat her food over and over again because she wouldn’t stop talking lol, I’m going to miss her saying to stop by for 5 minutes which really meant 5 hours. I’m going to miss her always talking about needing to go to the dentist or how the Dr.s’ no sirven! 

I’m going to always remember her last gift to me a Guerlain insolence perfume and our last Mother’s Day together thank God I took pictures. I regret not going to see her the night of 4th of July two days before she died like I usually would’ve when she lived alone. I regret not doing more for her. I regret not wanting to do more when I could’ve. I hope she knows despite my regrets I love her deeply. 

I learned a lot from my grandmother while she lived and even now in her passing I continue to learn. I’ve learned that the day you lose someone you love NOTHING that ever happened in the past matters your heart still breaks the same, the tears still fall down your face the same. 

Always remember Love never dies 1 Corinthians 13:8 I’ve learned you should live with no regrets make sure you say and do all the things that God would want you to say and do, spend as much time as you can with the people you love and the people you don’t prefer too because in the end there’s no difference and that way when you get to the end of your life it was well lived regret free! 

Romans 13:8 Owe nothing to anyone—except for your obligation to love one another. If you love your neighbor, you will fulfill the requirements of God’s law. I now understand why God says love covers because love is greater and that’s because God is love! 

Our time on earth is limited so don’t waste any of it, live life to the fullest by loving the hardest!

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