The eulogy I wrote:

Good afternoon,

First and foremost, thank you all for loving Abby just as much as I did. The outpouring amount of support I’ve received has been so comforting, I can’t even begin to express my gratitude for each and every one of you.

If you knew Abby, you also knew me, always hip-to-hip, protecting my baby sister, at whatever cost that may be. She was the other half of my heart, my big booty Judy, a little bit Alexis, Abadabadoo, the biggest animal lover there ever was, my sissy, my best friend, my Abby.

Growing up, I always thought she was so annoying when she would try and copy my every move, but as we got older, I felt honored that she wanted to be just like me… well, just in the way she dressed and looked. We were actually complete opposites of one another in our everyday lives. She loved the country life (I’m a city girl), farm animals (ew, they stink!), sharks (I’m scared of what’s in the ocean), taking care of elderly people (sorry, but they also stink… babies, please!), and especially the fish fillet sandwich from McDonald’s (which I think we can all agree, is disgusting). But that worked for us because we evened each other out.

Our love language was always picking on one another and then laughing until we cried. We especially liked to pick on our dad together… but some of the things we would laugh about for hours, would actually come in handy, like the nail clipper he’s obsessed with and carries in his pocket at all times. Has he offered it to anyone here yet?

My most favorite stories of Abby are the ones where she was laughing at herself.

She was always my plus one at weddings. At our friend Mira’s wedding, she was going to sit down next to me at the ceremony, as her jaw drops and grabs my hand to feel the bottom of her dress. She still had the HUGE security sensor on it. So, after the ceremony, we had to go to 3 different stores and convince them she hadn’t stolen it and beg them to remove it before the reception started.

Most recently when we were at the Tower of London, we thought it was so weird that they had so many statues of animals everywhere, that when we came to a sign about the famous ravens that lived there, Abby said, “look Jess, they even have fake ravens up there,” as she was pointing to the top of the wall. I looked up, fully believing her, as I always did… and then we saw its head turn around and laughed hysterically.

Abby’s laugh always made me immediately laugh, whether I thought something was funny or not. It was truly contagious. And so was her big white smile, and heart of gold.

She cared deeply about animals, especially cows. When we did a Cali road trip last summer and were driving down the coastal highway, I was enthralled with the views, and she was gushing over every cow we saw, forcing me to pull over every minute so she could take a picture of them.

Her patients felt how much she cared about them the second she met them. And in the height of COVID, she never complained once. She just wanted each and every one of them to get better. She was an advocate, an avid listener and an extremely empathetic person in her work, and everyday life.

Anything I would feel, we both would feel. And our connection, ironically, became stronger once I moved away. We would be thinking of each other nonstop, whether it was through texts, calls, social media, or sending each other gifts. We would sit on facetime for hours, even if we were just watching our favorite TV shows together. I especially felt her pain, that I so badly wish could’ve been taken away from her.

These last few months were really painful for Abby. More painful than any of us could have ever imagined. She felt like she was running out of time. She was ready to get married and have a baby, but unfortunately, her life was not aligning like that. She repeatedly was trying to find her purpose in life, trying to connect the dots of what was supposed to happen next for her, if that wasn’t it. She started keeping journals and writing her life story. She told me that she wanted to write a book to help people, and to be honest, I was a little confused at the time, but now I’m not, because as Abby used to always remind me, “everything happens for a reason”.

It’s time for us all to tell Abby’s story and help others. We will continue to break down the walls of the mental health stigma. We will talk about mental illness more, we will encourage people to get help, and we will normalize that every single person suffers from some sort of mental health problem. And that is okay. Abby would want all of us to be kind to one another, love each other unconditionally, and remember to laugh, every single day.

Abby, it’s your turn to protect me, my beautiful guardian angel. I have comfort in knowing that you’re finally at peace, living on a farm, walking amongst the sunflowers, holding Maggie Mae tight, and finally getting the love story you’ve always dreamed of.

I promise to never stop telling your story, to always surround myself with your favorite things, and to continue to take care of my own mental health. I hope I never stop hearing your laugh, seeing your smile, and feeling your warmth in my heart.

I’ll be looking for you everywhere. I love you to the moon and back.

XOXO, Jeca

PS: See if you can pull some strings with the big man up there and get the Bills to the Super Bowl, would ya?