I'm finding my footing

My husband had a devastating stroke on October 9, 2025 and never woke up. He died October 27, 2025. He would have died right away but I felt that he needed more time to see if he would wake up and when the neurosurgeon showed me his MRI, it was crystal clear that he wasn't coming back.
We are/were very religious and I thank God that we got so many extra years when he could have died a long time ago.
I have my moments of tears, sobbing, helplessness and hours that just slip by unexplainably.
So many people to call, appointments to cancel and business things to do.
And death certificates - it takes weeks to get them? That's crazy!
I just want time to grieve, not take care of business!
And I have this weird thing going on in my mind! I LOVE my church family and they are all so supportive and have prayed so much for both of us - but I'm almost afraid to go to church because people are going to want to console me. And then I think well if they didn't console me I wouldn't feel like they cared. I think I just need to go and if I can't handle it I'll go home. But I feel almost guilty thinking this way.
I imagine there will be many different emotions to be felt during this time.
Also I know to not make any major decisions for at least 6 months after a death, but sometimes that's not practical.
I do know of a program called griefshare where you learn how to grieve and get through it in a healthy way - there aren't any going on currently so I will wait till the next one happens. In my town it's either one of the many churches that put it on or a VFW or veteran place.

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My husband had a devastating stroke on October 9, 2025 and never woke up. He died October 27, 2025. He would have died right away but I felt that he needed more time to see if he would wake up and when the neurosurgeon showed me his MRI, it was crystal clear that he wasn't coming back. We are/were very religious and I thank God that we got so many extra years when he could have died a long time ago. I have my moments of tears, sobbing, helplessness and hours that just slip by unexplainably. So many people to call, appointments to cancel and business things to do. And death certificates - it takes weeks to get them? That's crazy! I just want time to grieve, not take care of business! And I have this weird thing going on in my mind! I LOVE my church family and they are all so supportive and have prayed so much for both of us - but I'm almost afraid to go to church because people are going to want to console me. And then I think well if they didn't console me I wouldn't feel like they cared. I think I just need to go and if I can't handle it I'll go home. But I feel almost guilty thinking this way. I imagine there will be many different emotions to be felt during this time. Also I know to not make any major decisions for at least 6 months after a death, but sometimes that's not practical. I do know of a program called griefshare where you learn how to grieve and get through it in a healthy way - there aren't any going on currently so I will wait till the next one happens. In my town it's either one of the many churches that put it on or a VFW or veteran place.

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