my mother passed at the age of 44 on october 18th due to covid. she was in the hospital for about a month and it was a roller coaster ride the entire time but i would rather feel that than what i feel now, i feel like i am missing something and there is a void. we were close but i moved out at 18 (i’m now 22.) so i’ve been away from her for a few years but she’d come to visit my sister and i every few months. although i did not cry at her funeral, this is the worst pain i have ever felt. she is the first person i have ever lost close to me and i don’t really know where to go from here.
10/18/21 <\3
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 30, 2021, 9:08 p.m. PDT
You are at such a young age to lose a parent to a very horrible disease. There are not any words that will help take away your pain. It's going to take time and some forms of therapy and tangible things to do, that will help you learn how to deal with your loss and grief and those things are different for each person.
If you are interested and think they might help you, I'll be happy to share what worked for me after my mother died.
Cindi
hi, thank you for reaching out. i would love to know what worked for you.
i have really bad anxiety which has been getting the best of me this entire experience, i used to go to therapy years ago but i stopped because i felt as though it wasn’t helping so i’ve been trying to avoid going back. so i just need any advice at this point.
thank you. :-)
These are things I've done when my daughter died in 2000, my mom died in 2013, and my husband just last month.
I write stories that are turning out to be books. No one other than myself probably won't read them, but it was the process of writing down my memories, thoughts, and feelings that turned out to be therapy for me.
I designed a garden that honored my grandmother, mother, and daughter, selecting their favorite plants, flowers, and trees.
Made scrapbooks for each of the three above and will now make one for my husband.
I do a meditation journal. I meditate and any time a thought, or an idea, or a feeling intrudes, I write it down. I get some of my best thoughts and ideas doing this.
I created a music and song playlist with songs that remind me of the person who died. Sometimes when I listen to these, I cry, but that's okay.
I watched movies and TV shows that my loved ones liked. Same with books.
My sister-in-law made a quilt that honored my daughter, using photos of her printed on fabric.
I made an angel altar for my daughter using a collection of angels I received when she died.
We are going to get glass ornaments using the ashes of my mother and my husband through a company called https://artfulashes.com/. A friend of mine had one made in honor of a mutual friend who died of cancer, and the ornament was gorgeous.
When my daughter was 13, her best friend died. My daughter planned a luncheon for all of the girl's closest friends. I often like to make certain dishes for a meal, that my loved ones enjoyed.
I read books about grieving. Some that I'm reading now: Grieving Us, Your Grief Your Way, Life in 20 Lessons, Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief. Some other books that are not really grief books but have helped cope with the sadness and anxiety: The Artist's Way, The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook, 365 Ways to Connect with Your Soul, A Year to Live, and any book by Alexandra Stoddard.
I'm not saying that these all will work for you. But they have for me.
