Written by Glenn DeGuzman-

Maria Vanessa Garay DeGuzman (Vanessa) has always been the glue that held our family together. We are deeply saddened to share the news that Vanessa passed away peacefully on October 3, 2023, at Stanford Hospital in Stanford, CA, surrounded by her beloved husband, Glenn; children, Alex (20) and Allison (17); mother, Astrid Garay; her fur-baby and emotional support animal (ESA), Ube; brother and sisters-in-law, Melanie and Freddy; and a few friends who Vanessa felt were her chosen family. Vanessa's passing stems from a lengthy health battle with hypertension, and while sudden and catastrophic, the family feels she is at peace.

Born on December 27, 1976, in Dagupan City, Philippines, Vanessa was the youngest of four and the only daughter of Astrid Garay and Victorino Lapena. Vanessa came from a proud and resilient family of educated engineers and entrepreneurs, which led to the family owning land in the Philippines. Vanessa's parents owned a farming operation in Bautista Pangasinan, growing rice and various types of produce. During the early years of Vanessa's life, her family consisted of her parents, Astrid and Victorino, her eldest brother Kirk Lapena, who preceded Vanessa in death in 2021, Glenn Lapena (59), and Paul Lapena (57). While the family built a successful business throughout the early years of Vanessa's life, her family experienced hardships when their rice farm was wiped out by typhoons, resulting in multiple years of lost rice crops. The series of typhoons led to poverty in the area, negatively impacting the community with widespread loss of homes, businesses, and economic stability. As a result of the storms, many community members who lost their homes took up residency on the family land, creating unsafe living conditions. Eventually, the family fled to Manilla for better safety, security, and opportunity.

Vanessa enrolled and attended Manuel L. Quezon Elementary School, which at the time was one of the best elementary schools in Manila; her family sacrificed a great deal to enroll her there. Vanessa's mom shared how much Vanessa loved to read. After school each day, she would go to the bookstore to read until dinnertime. Her favorite books included mystery, fiction, romance, and comic books because she loved the artwork hidden within the pages.

Some of Vanessa's favorite childhood memories she shared with those closest to her were stories of her brothers teaching her to defend herself from a young age. Her mother, Astrid, recalls that Vanessa was scrappy and was never afraid to fight for those she loved and cared about. She knew how to throw a mean elbow strike, and in many ways, her family's strength and resilience radiated through Vanessa thousands of miles away after immigrating to the United States in 1989 at the age of thirteen. Vanessa loved her family tremendously, and one of the painful memories she carried was when the family divided in search of better opportunities in the United States, leaving her brothers in the Philippines. At the same time, Vanessa and her parents relocated to Daly City in the San Francisco Bay Area.

As an immigrant Filipina during Vanessa's teenage years, life in the United States was challenging. Vanessa and her parents lived in a one-bedroom apartment on the "top of the hill" in Daly City. Vanessa remembered and shared stories with those closest to her that throughout the first five years in the United States, the family was still determining if they would stay in the United States or return to the Philippines. Soon after the family arrived in California, Vanessa's father fell ill and could no longer contribute to the family's well-being. While Vanessa's mom, Astrid, worked multiple jobs in the hospitality industry in large, upscale hotels throughout San Francisco, Vanessa embodied her mom's work ethic. She coupled it with the street smarts she acquired from her brothers to secure employment at a local bakery delivering cookies and pastries daily to San Francisco's elite throughout the financial district. Vanessa and her mom were a team and worked to make ends meet both here in the States and abroad by sending money back to the Philippines to help Vanessa's brothers. Family survival and success were always at the forefront of Vanessa and Astrid's minds, which resulted in Vanessa going through adolescence to adulthood as a latchkey kid. These experiences reinforced Vanessa's resilience and forced her to develop a strength and independence that she undoubtedly passed along to her kids, Alex and Allison. She always spoke about her mom's work ethic as a source of inspiration, knowing Astrid's sacrifices to stay in the United States with a single-minded pursuit of providing Vanessa with a better life.

Vanessa strategically enrolled at Lowell High School, which was different from the neighborhood school Vanessa was supposed to attend. Lowell High School is arguably the best school in the greater San Francisco Bay Area. Vanessa's mom did what was necessary as she knew a good education was the only true path to secure a better future for the family. Vanessa and her mom's scrappiness, persistence, and determination to survive are a testament to the very fabric of the United States of America. Vanessa knew she had to be successful because her family was counting on her, a pressure many schoolchildren born in the United States can never truly understand. While attending Lowell High School, Vanessa excelled academically, took on leadership roles with the high school yearbook, and served as team manager for the baseball team for two seasons.

Vanessa's high school crew of friends recall that Vanessa had a laser-focused determination about her–not only for her academics but also for those she cared about. Although naturally introverted, her high school crew recalled her as a friend with a "servant's heart" and always sharing everything she had with everyone. Her infectious smile, warmth, and amazing hugs she gave are some of the crew's favorite memories. Vanessa was the maternal member of the high school crew and kept in touch with everyone throughout her lifetime.

Upon completion of high school, Vanessa went on to attend UC Santa Barbara. While at UCSB, Vanessa continued her maternal caring by honing her leadership skills and involvement in residence hall government. Eventually, Vanessa was elected as Residence Hall Association (RHA) President. As RHA President, Vanessa was viewed as a role model to her peers, served over 4000+ residential students, and led RHA to various regional and national awards. She led with humor, accountability, organization, and always putting the community first. Vanessa soon started working in the Micro Computer Labs at UCSB, eventually launching her professional career in computer networking.

At UCSB, Vanessa would meet the love of her life and future husband, Glenn. What started as a casual friendship that emerged from playful flirting in the Santa Rosa residence halls eventually led to discovering Vanessa and Glenn's feelings for each other. Amid the backdrop of a drive back home during college break, their connection deepened as they traversed the 101 freeway. Given their collegiate employment roles at the time, their relationship was forbidden. Glenn and Vanessa carefully navigated the road to each other's hearts in secrecy, which added to their unique and magical partnership. Their shared secret allowed them to explore the uncharted and unknown territory of true love in ways many would never know. From those foundational moments, and as the secret of their relationship came out, friends started referring to Glenn and Vanessa as "GleNessa."

In 1999, Glenn and Vanessa married in San Francisco and then began their new life in Fort Collins, CO. Vanessa started her professional career at Agilent Technologies doing computer networking and then at Hewlett-Packard. As a determined and laser-focused "techie," Vanessa was highly praised for her work and ability to learn quickly and was always thinking "five steps ahead." Her ability to adapt to emerging technology led her to be swiftly promoted and responsible for supporting the latest technologies used by large, prominent clients, including Fortune 500 companies, the military, and various government agencies.

Aside from her career, Vanessa loved connecting her loved ones with other people, places, experiences, and deals. Vanessa and Glenn formed a harmonious partnership of community building by welcoming everyone into their world by giving anything they had to connect newcomers to a complete and inclusive community. Vanessa curated a safe and open sanctuary within their home for many people to connect, eat delicious food, watch movies, play with their dog Wicket, and have fun while gathering. Vanessa's giving nature was especially evident during holidays when many students were away from their family homes due to various circumstances. Vanessa always offered her guests shelter, hospitality, and warmth, crafting a tapestry of inclusion and belonging through holiday parties, secret ingredient cook-off competitions, and playing host to numerous house guests. Vanessa never wanted anyone to feel alone and welcomed everyone as family.

Vanessa was also an avid traveler and coordinated numerous amazing trips and adventures. Her eyes would light up as she found new places to discover, finding local foods that only locals knew about, and curating memorable vacations, all on a tight budget. Vanessa's mastery of finding phenomenal deals would enable her to be the go-to travel person for her loved ones. One may jokingly say that Vanessa was obsessed with finding the best deals, whether planning the most efficient driving routes to hit up the most garage sales on a Saturday morning or learning the inside information on getting the best online shopping prices. Vanessa would always ensure top quality at rock-bottom prices. Her ability to procure information online, as well as to tap into what her community circles knew, was genuinely next level. She would then share her knowledge of great deals with her friends and family, creating life-lasting memories and community. Vanessa expressed her love and care for those around her through connection over good meals, excellent experiences, and limitless heart-felt conversations. Vanessa connected people worldwide through her generosity of time and research, which nourished her soul.

In 2003, Vanessa and Glenn welcomed their son Alex into the world. Having their first child didn't keep Vanessa home. The three would continue to follow Vanessa's detailed planning of "design on a dime" adventures. Vanessa would continue to innovate and define what an "active family life" looked like. In 2004, they returned to California to be closer to family in the Bay Area. They chose to build their new home in Livermore, wanting Alex to be near Glenn's parents Alfredo and Virginia, and to attend the same school Glenn attended. In 2005, Vanessa and Glenn welcomed Allison, expanding the family to four. Shortly after, Vanessa's mom, Astrind, moved into the home, rounding out the household "party of 5" since 2011.

Nothing brought more joy to Vanessa's life than becoming a mother. It gave her a renewed sense of purpose, allowing her to apply her talents and gifts to ensure the best for her kids. The five would embark on a new chapter in family life that only Vanessa could write. Vanessa introduced the family to the joys of cruising, embarking on travels worldwide. Between each big vacation, Vanessa would maximize weekend family time that integrated the family's interests. For example, every summer meant Comic-Con in San Diego; Alex's birthday meant a small family trip to Angels Camp. Weekend plans included endless adventures supporting Alex and Allison through soccer games, taekwondo competitions, and pairing visiting family and friends with activities, festivals, and museum visits in San Francisco and throughout the greater Bay Area.

To ensure that Vanessa refreshed her batteries, early mornings were reserved for her to run in solitude, peace, and quiet. Armed with the latest musical device and headphones, Vanessa would run through the streets and neighborhoods of Livermore, familiarizing herself with the various homes. These early morning training runs shifted Vanessa's career toward the real estate industry. These occurrences connected her to many incredible individuals and families and allowed Vanessa to continue actively engaging with the greater community.

When Alex and Allison began competing in taekwondo at the regional, national, and international levels, it rejuvenated Vanessa, as travel was a big part of these competitions. The coordination and planning for these events reinvigorated Vanessa and were particularly important as her health deteriorated in 2018. She kept this private from many as she still pursued finding adventures for herself and those she loved. She secretly spent countless hours learning new ways to rest her mind and body so she could plan travels for those she loved. The love expanded when Vanessa rescued "King Ube," her dog and loyal companion; she loved Ube so much. While we often wonder who emotionally supported whom in their relationship, King Ube was essential to Vanessa's perseverance. We were happy that Ube shared Vanessa's passion for travel and would join her and the family on their travels.

While Vanessa left us early, she lived an incredible life filled with love and adventure. Her adventures will take her through the universe and watch from the skies above. Her family and "framily" (i.e., chosen family) will host a Celebration of Life event on January 20, 2024. You can visit the "EVERLOVED WEBSITE LINK" to stay updated with the latest information.

Please share some of your fondest memories here, as this will help Vanessa's family remember and learn of the expansive legacy and impact Vanessa has made on others. In place of flowers and sympathy cards, the family has established a GoFundMe page to help cover Vanessa's Celebration of Life expenses, where the family will welcome Vanessa's loved ones once again to celebrate her loving spirit.

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