So many of my best childhood memories feature my cool aunt Julie who never thought inside the box and cooked the most amazing salt-free food. So many holidays. Her mincemeat pies. Summer days without end at the house in Olympia. The Thanksgiving sushi dinner. (I'm sorry 10-year-old me wasn't more appreciative.) Her level-headed parenting the time Nate and I got driven home in a police car and she said, "I don't need to tell you how stupid you were. 'nuff said." -- and also agreed not to tell my parents about the incident. (Phew!)
I'll miss you Julie!
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So enjoyed hiking with Julie! She made the best apple pie!
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In late 2022, in the throws of deep appreciation for my partner, I perused my email inbox looking for our first correspondence and stumbled across a forwarded message - one he reformatted for me from my dad in 2008. Rereading his email made me wish I’d followed the only real advice he’d provided much sooner, regarding my Aunt Julie: “You and her are a lot alike. Pick her brain. See if you aren’t soul sisters.” And because I’m an adult now, because Dad is gone and I’m done avoiding myself and working on acceptance, I reached out to Julie, hoping that it wasn’t too late to really get to know her.
Julie is gone and somehow it makes my dad even more gone. A lingering thread of his existence - someone who knew him his whole life - just isn’t anymore.
And maybe it’s because we’ve been talking more over the last year and half, or maybe because I’m in Tucson and the landscape reminds me of what Julie described in Las Cruces. Maybe because I walk along a wash, a thing I couldn’t picture until I got here but know that she did often. I think I see her in every fast paced walker marching determinedly into the sun. Julie helped me perceive another possible version of myself. I’m not just my Oma and my mom. I’m my dad, and I’m Julie too. We have a lot in common after all. I did catering for years. I love to cook. A similar world view. Getting to know her has been an important piece in getting to know myself and I’m grateful for the opportunity. I didn’t expect her to be so nice. So warm. It’s a facet of my dad that I’d long forgotten in our estrangement and his passing. I can be warm too. If I want to be. And I think that I do.
I will miss you Julie.
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I will so miss you, Julie!!! Our HH’s were the best. Hope you’re somewhere doing what you loved-hiking and being adventurous!!
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Julie was my dearest friend. I love her and will miss her always. She was my renaissance woman, encouraging me and building my confidence in many things. She took me under her wing sharing her institutional knowledge of wilderness adventure. I recall so many days we spent on the trail hiking together, telling stories. She instilled confidence in my cooking abilities, teaching me many things foodie related. We traveled together, laughed and cried together, spent many hours talking about our lives, our view of the world, our love and respect for each other. She was my soulmate, my confidant. In recent days I'm thinking of so many things "I have to tell Julie." I'm grieving. I send my ongoing love to you, Julie.
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Julie, thank you for being my mom’s best friend for almost 60 years. Hope you two are enjoying hiking together again now!
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