Mike, Nikki and Jay. I’m finding it hard to believe that I’m doing this. It’s been almost a month since Deb’s passing and not a day goes by without me thinking about what I should say in this tribute and yet, when I sit down to write it, the words are stuck. Grief is hard stuff. Deb would say, “oh my sweet Edith, you shouldn’t be sad. I am at peace with this.” And to be honest, that does help some. Her faith was her rock.
Since the first day I met Deb, almost 13 years ago now as we were putting the sold sign on our house next door, she has been the most positive, loving person in my life. She came bounding over to our family and welcomed us to the neighborhood with open arms and an open heart. I feel so grateful for fate bringing us here because it brought the years of friendship between our families. Deb was my person right next door, my dear friend, my confidant, my family by choice. She always made everyone around her feel so good because she always lifted everyone up in a way that made her exceptional. Whatever I was feeling at the moment was made lighter and better when she was around.
And, oh my goodness, we had so much fun together. We would laugh until our bellies hurt. We took family trips, celebrated holidays, birthdays and anniversaries, and had countless outings with our kids. She was always up for an adventure and even taught me to tolerate Chuck-E-Cheese. She loved watching our kids grow and play together and she lit up from the excitement they experienced because she loved them unconditionally—not just hers but mine, too. She actively participated in my children’s lives and 100% supported their passions and goals.
What I will miss most, though, is not the big outings but the day to day hellos, the “there’s a margarita on the fence for yous”, the quick walks with the dogs, the lazy summers in the pool, her silly texts throughout the day. Simply knowing she was next door is what I will miss the most.
My grief comes from all of the time and shared experiences we will not have together. I took our time for granted because honestly, I never imagined she’d be gone so soon.
Nik and Jay, I am so proud of the wonderful, mature and strong young women you have become. I witnessed every ounce of that strength and grace you showed during the last days of your mom’s life. I can say, from my own experience of losing my mother, that you two are remarkable. After all, you had a great mentor to guide the way. She loved you both without measure and was incredibly proud of you—she told me this ALL THE TIME. I think her greatest sadness in this is not getting to watch you live out your lives but I know that she believed in you and knew you had the strength to carry you through your sadness.
Mike, I know you know that you were the love of her life, but it probably doesn’t hurt to hear that everyone that knew Deb knew it, too. You were lucky to have each other because that kind of love is truly special.
Today and every day I will celebrate Deb’s beautiful life. I will celebrate her positivity, her silly, self-deprecating humor, her enormous heart, and her radiant smile.
I love you all.
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