Dearest Elizabeth, Adair and Shelley, Brian and Monika, and Charlie and Owen,

I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Guinea and in July, 1966, was invited to go to Bouake in the Ivory Coast to help train incoming volunteers who were going to teach English is Francophone West Africa. Tom was the director of that program, and Elizabeth was there too that summer. 

From the moment we met, I knew there was something special about Tom. He had a confidence about him, and a playful side too. The summer was memorable in many ways, but the example of Tom’s natural leadership ability was formative for me in my life. He later became my boss in Peace Corps headquarters in DC. And my friend, and frequent bridge opponent. 

A cherished memory was Tom’s portrayal of my guru in a skit at my 50th. Clad in a makeshift sari and bald from a stocking on his head, seated cross-legged on the floor, he brought down the house. 

So many memories, so much delight in our friendship over the years.  And all the love that remains.

Sally

I was deeply distressed to hear of Tom’s passing.  I lost my mom and my older sister to dementia and know how hard this is on family and friends; your loved one is lost more than once.

I worked with Tom from 1994 for about a decade, both when he led WRI and USAID’s policy bureau.  Never have I had the honor of working with a smarter, savvier and more civil leader.  

Every couple of weeks we’d go out to a cigar bar near the office to have the same thing - a bacon cheeseburger and fries.  Neither of us smoked and we both realized bacon cheeseburgers aren’t on anyone’s approved diet, but we had a great time, just gabbing, joking and doing some work-related conniving.

Our family also enjoyed visiting the Fox family  house up on Bar Harbor.  A remarkable, decent, vigorous, erudite and witty man.  I miss him, and think of him often.  

Tony Pryor

Dear Elizabeth, I’m so sorry to learn of Tom’s passing. Sending you big hugs.

Mary Gunn

Boston

Dear Elizabeth, Adair and Shelley, Owen and Charlie, Brian and Monika, and other family members,

My sincere condolences on the loss of Tom. While I only met him a few times in Maine and Washington, it was so clear what a giant of our world he was and how devoted he was to all of you. He was so smart, kind and giving of himself, qualities you all share too. From the stories shared over the years by Shelley and Adair, I know that the connection Tom had to family, friends and community is one we can all learn from. I will remember him, as I am sure so many others will.

I do hope that you are able to keep close Tom’s deep love for all of you.

May there be many beautiful memories that sustain and eventually again bring a smile.

My deepest sympathy,

Robin

Xo

Dear Adair, Brian, Shelley,

I am so sorry for your loss. Given how important Tom's leadership was at All Souls, and how important his friendship was to Rob, I sometimes forget that I met him before I'd even *met* Rob, at a celebration of Adair's and Shelley's domestic partnership at your place in Oakland. I remember leaving the party that day thinking how wonderful it was to have met Tom -- not knowing that I'd encounter him in a totally new context in DC a few years later! He was instrumental in helping Rob find his footing in his early years of ministry, and I know he was an important mentor and confidant to Rob for many years after. In my mind he's always been a model for what it can mean to be a wise, compassionate member of a religious community, and a true friend. I'm grateful we'll all be able to celebrate his life and his gifts to us in March. 

Yours,

Chris

Tom and Elizabeth came into our lives in Lome, Togo (West Africa) in Dec,1966.  My husband, Mike, joined the Peace Corps Staff there and I was soon working in a small village 18 km away with Elizabeth, conducting a Well Baby Clinic and teaching basic Public Health.

I remember Tom as a calm, bright, talented man who always thought before speaking.  I came to get to know Tom more as our time in Lome increased.  He always impressed me as someone whose breadth of knowledge never ceased to amaze me.  We missed them when Tom was promoted to be the P.C.Director in what is today Burkina Faso.

Fortunately, we were able to visit them there.  And once back in the U.S., we visited Tom and Elizabeth in Washington.  Our mutual love of Africa created a strong bond—one that withstood the test of time.

If Mike were alive, I know he would join me in expressing sincere love and condolences to Tom’s family.  I know he lives on in the hundreds of lives he touched.  And I know too, that despite missing his physical presence, he will always be with you, in your hearts.

All my love, Robin Weintraub

One of Tom’s overseas activities not as well known by his colleagues in the international community was his 20-year service as a trustee on the board of the Mukti Fund, a small grantmaking foundation that tried to make a difference in the small-island state of St. Kitts and Nevis in the eastern Caribbean. In 2008, after the sunsetting of the foundation’s Caribbean program, Tom wrote to Mukti’s founder, Mike Dively, that his service on this board had been, “by far, my most satisfying philanthropic involvement and commitment of all that I have experienced.” He reflected that rarely did he have the opportunity “to get down in the trenches where the real work and reality itself takes place.” But St. Kitts and Nevis afforded him that experience.

Tom truly loved these two small islands and treasured the time the volunteer board could spend together in the country: whether absorbing the history and culture of a freshly independent nation; interacting with Kittitian and Nevisian grantees, hiking lush mountainous and forested terrain during our down time; sharing a camaraderie and special closeness with fellow trustees (photo posted on this website); and, of course, imbibing Mukti’s signature cocktail, Mt. Gay and tonic – it all meant so much to Tom.

The Mukti trustees often reiterated that even a small foundation could make a difference. And now, in remembering the fullness of Tom’s life, I know that one exceptional, towering individual did make a difference, an enormous difference. It is gratitude that I feel for the blessing of Tom Fox in my life. Thank you, my cherished friend, for the memories -- including the 60-plus operas you and I attended together in the last 15 years!

Elizabeth, Brian and Adair,

I am very sorry for your loss.  Tom was an extraordinary man possessed of gentle yet compelling leadership abilities, integrity, a huge capacity for love and compassion, a devoted family man, and a talented athlete, singer and amateur thespian.  My earliest memories of Tom are from our fraternity house at Williams College where Tom, as President, was charged with the thankless task of uniting the "front" of the house (adventurous)  with  the "back" of the house (responsible).  He excelled ,and honed skills that he used for a life of understanding and leadership.  He was a valued friend for many years.  RIP Tom.