Donald's obituary
Donald Davis Avary passed away peacefully on March 20, 2025, at Stanford Hospital in Palo Alto, California, following an aneurysm. He was surrounded by family and loved ones and passed as twilight fell on the vernal equinox—a poetic farewell befitting a life lived with passion and intellect.
Born on January 12, 1940, in Rio de Janeiro to Edwin (Ned) Davis Avary and Nancy Roberts Avary, Donald was the youngest of three children, joining his brother Edwin (Ned) Roberts Avary and sister Mary Evelyn Avary. His early years unfolded beneath the sun-drenched mountains of Rio, where he attended the American School and later the Armstrong School in Petropolis. With a fierce love for nature and adventure even in childhood, Don set out to climb every mountain in Rio—a testament to the spirit of determination that would shape his life.
In 1952, after his parents separated, Don’s chapter in Brazil came to an end. The following year he returned with his mother and siblings to Menlo Park, California, settling into their ancestral home at 2063 Santa Cruz Avenue — affectionately known as “the Old House.” There he attended Las Lomitas before heading abroad once more for boarding school in Switzerland. Already fluent in Portuguese and English, Don added French to his linguistic repertoire.
Don pursued higher education at UC Berkeley, earning a Bachelor's degree in Political Science in 1962. As a freshman, he became president of the Chi Psi fraternity, and for the first time in it's history, he opened the door to international students.
Enrolled in the Air Force ROTC during his college years, Don had initially aspired to be a Navy pilot. One evening atop the Chi Psi building after several drinks with his friend Bill Kaiser, Don decided that with a good shot of a 22 rifle he could dot the ‘i’ on a street sign. Police were summoned immediately and Don was caught lying down on a lawn chair with an unconvincing posture of nonchalance, the rifle tucked under him but visible. He was arrested for the evening. This altered his path as an aviator as even though the Navy declined him, the Air Force welcomed him.
Don graduated near the top of his pilot training class and earned an assignment flying F-4 Phantoms. In 1965 he was deployed to Vietnam with his squadron based at Cam Ranh Air Force Base. While on R&R in the Philippines fate intervened when he met Mary Elizabeth (Beth) Schaffer. The two fell quickly in love and married shortly thereafter.
After returning stateside to Seymour Johnson Air Force Base in North Carolina, Don and Beth welcomed their first child, Diana Kimberly Avary, in 1967. A special assignment took Don briefly to Korea before he made the decision to leave military service behind.
On reassignment to Edwards Air Force Base in California, Don drove cross-country with a horse trailer—and made an impromptu stop at Los Angeles International Airport to apply for a civilian pilot position with Western Airlines. His transition into commercial aviation soon followed. Settling first in Mill Valley with Beth and their growing family—including twin sons Eric Roberts Avary and Arthur Colbert Avary—Don faced uncertainty when Western furloughed him. The family relocated for a year to Ajijic, Mexico until stability returned.
With Western Airlines’ rehire came new beginnings. The family moved back to California—first Torrance and then Portola Valley in 1975—to be closer to “the Old House” and raise their children amid familiar surroundings.
Don continued flying after Western merged with Delta Airlines. He had an entrepreneurial streak, and founded Travel Insiders, a travel agency and school. Life brought changes; Don and Beth eventually separated. He returned once more to reside at “the Old House,” moving into its cabin after their divorce was finalized in 1990.
In 1995 he met Daija Spear, who was at the time working as a flight attendant. They married, but parted ways five years later. That period brought great personal upheaval — with his mother's passing and retirement from flying— but solace arrived unexpectedly: a puppy named Mai Tai entered his life and anchored him through the grief. Don often said that she had saved his life.
He eventually settled next door at 2073 Santa Cruz Avenue where he spent his remaining years immersed in community and companionship — with dogs always by his side. Known for his paella and his hospitality, Don hosted wine tastings that drew friends close over laughter-filled evenings under garden lights.
Donald Davis Avary leaves behind brothers Edwin Roberts Avary and Dean Wolf Avary; daughter Diana Kimberly Avary Fallon; sons Eric Roberts Avary (with wife Michelle French Avary) and Arthur Colbert Avary; as well as grandson Beckett Roberts Avary.
A celebration of Don’s extraordinary life will take place at Dinah's hotel in the banquet room at noon, After which we will have a luncheon gathering at his house at 1:30. He will be laid to rest at Alta Mesa Funeral Home & Memorial Park on Monday, April 28th at 11:30 a.m.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Don’s honor to Peninsula Humane Society & SPCA (https://phs-spca.org/) reflecting his deep love for animals.
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Memories & condolences
Donald Davis Avary — Don — will always hold a special place in my heart.
Sobhini and I first met years ago as neighbors …
Donald Davis Avary — Don — will always hold a special place in my heart.
Sobhini and I first met yea…
Donald Davis Avary — Don — will always hold a special place in m…
Donald Davis Avary will always be nicknamed "Dad" in my head & my heart due to our many impromptu phone greetings facil…
Donald Davis Avary will always be nicknamed "Dad" in my head & my heart due to our many impromptu p…
Donald Davis Avary will always be nicknamed "Dad" in my head & m…
Don was a Special Friend, We were in Vietnam and talked about his F4 missions over North Vietnam and my Helicopter com…
Don was a Special Friend, We were in Vietnam and talked about his F4 missions over North Vietnam a…
Don was a Special Friend, We were in Vietnam and talked about h…