It’s been almost 2 months since I found out that my brother David died and I’ve had a really hard time bringing myself to write this because I haven’t wanted to believe that it’s true. Today I saw his ashes and it was like hearing the news all over again. So I want to share an experience that only I ever got to have, getting to be his little sister.
Obviously I don’t remember all the moments from when I was a baby but my Mom has shared many fun memories with me. For instance, Matt & Dave were both so thrilled that they were going to have a “baby sister.” So much so that they took me as their Show-&-Tell “item” to school. Apparently my Mom describes it as if I was some sort of celebrity. How cool to know that your brothers were so excited about you that they wanted to show you off to their whole class! Apparently Dave was also very “concerned” with whether our Mom knew how to properly take care of me. He would stay close to me and let Mom know if HE felt I was hungry or had a dirty diaper. From the moment I was adopted, he always wanted to protect me. And that never changed, even as I got older.
There was a 7 year age gap between Dave and I but he never made me feel like he was “too cool” to hang out with his little sister. And trust me, I wanted to hang out with him all the time. He would happily let me hang with he and his friends. As far as I know, all of them accepted that Lil Dave and his sister were a package deal, and they never told Dave that they didn’t want me around(and if they did, he never gave in to that request.) I remember this one time Dave and some friends were skateboarding in front of our Beech Hill house, on a Quarter Pipe ramp Dave built and I was(OBVIOUSLY) hanging out with them. One friend, they called him Rollo, was there and he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. He was joking, of course, BUT David heard, got off the ramp, picked up his skateboard, walked over and stood between me and Rollo and told him that he was cool but NO ONE would ever be good enough for his baby sister and then took my hand and we walked away.
There was another time, I was in elementary school (Palm Elementary) and I came home sad because some other kid was teasing me. Dave saw me crying and asked me what was wrong. I told him about the bratty kid and he asked me for a name so he and his friends could “handle it.” What was he going to do to another 1st or 2nd grader? …. Who knows. But what I DO know is that kid never teased me again.
Another fun memory, that I JUST recently shared with my Mom for the first time ever, was when we were still living at Beech Hill house and he was babysitting me, he sat me down at the bar stools in our kitchen and said “KP, I don’t know if Mom and Dad have talked to you yet but I think it’s time you knew about the birds and the bees.” 😂 I don’t remember exactly what details he told me but I remember thinking that it was way better hearing this from my brother than my parents.
David was always a free-spirited guy and that meant that sometimes his ideas clashed with our parents. There was a moment when the three of them got into a pretty heated argument and Dave said he was going to leave. I remember standing in the kitchen sad because, to me, I didn’t know when he’d come back. Dave gave me a hug and said “KP: Mom, Dad and I are fighting and we’re all pretty pissed off. I know you heard me say I’m going to leave for awhile but I want you to know I’m just leaving the house, I’m not leaving YOU. I’ll be back once we all cool down. I love you no matter where I am, ok?” And I knew he meant it.
In middle school I had a history project pertaining to Ancient Egypt and it had to be a presentation in front of the class. Now, those that know me know I’m pretty loud and outgoing but presentations and solo performances scare the crap out of me. David said he would help me figure out a super awesome way for me to do my presentation…
It ended up being him helping me re-write the lyrics to “Paul Revere” by the Beastie Boys to be all about what we were studying. And then to top off the experience, my 6th grade History teacher agreed to let him do the presentation WITH ME! It was so much fun and I remember the whole class, and my teacher, being very impressed.
When he was being sponsored in skateboarding and snowboarding the different companies would want him to represent them by wearing clothing with their brand on it. However, David always told them that he would wear their clothing but not before giving them my clothing and shoe sizes. He would constantly come home with pairs of Volcom, Etnies, DC and Emerics shoes in addition to clothes from those same companies and others. I felt pretty special.
Another memory to share, we had moved into our new house on Golden View and David wasn’t living with us anymore. Well, he showed up to the house one day and he had a tiny little puppy in his arms. He said her name was Sequoia and he asked me if I would “keep an eye on her” until he had someplace more stable to keep her. OF COURSE I DID! My big brother asked me if I could help HIM?! Heck yeah! (It didn’t hurt that she was adorable too 😉). Sequoia and Dave became best friends and when he finally did pick her up one day, they were inseparable. She was his emotional support animal and he was her support human.
At one point, Dave didn’t have permanent housing and he and Sequoia resided in Downtown LA. On many occasions I would stop at McDonald’s and buy several cheeseburgers and take them up so he and I could eat together but also to feed some of the other people in his “community.” David HATED feeling like he was somebody’s charity case and so I always had to come up with a clever reason why I had bought food. I felt like it was the least I could do for him.
David was one of a kind. And even though he struggled with mental health issues, which often times left him feeling sad, lonely, frustrated and angry, he had one of the biggest hearts. Neither of my brothers ever made me feel like I wasn’t their sister. I think I am pretty lucky to have been adopted into my family.
There’s so many more special stories I could share about my amazing Big Brother but I’m going to keep some of them close to my chest, they will be just for me and Dave to know(at least for now.) I hope these brought you a smile… maybe a tear or two, I know I cried writing this…. My hope and wish is that Dave knew I love him and knew how much I appreciated him. I will leave you all with this: “You may have loved me since the day I was born. But David, I’ve loved you my whole life.” ❤️
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