The View Today from Mom's Spot at Mount Auburn

Mom's Shared Stone, Mount Auburn Cemetery

Grief has so many permutations. I am really feeling it today. I miss her so much.

July 2023

Early July, sitting out on back deck, having a cocktail and (for some unknown reason) my wife Cathy Googles our near and dear friend Julia Kramer. She passed in April! Seriously? Yep! Memorial Service in October - no surprise there.

How to explain our relationship (in Chicago) with this amazing women?

Well, it started over a quarter of a centudy ago. Somehow, her (2nd) husband Ferd Kramer and I became friends: he had gone to the same, fine, men's "finishing" school on the Hudson. He was at West Point in early 1920's, I was there nearly a half century later (Class of 1965).

We became close with Ferd - and by extension, Julia. Two very amazing people. I think we were the only "non-immediate family" at Ferd's 100th BDay party.

Still remember standing there, at the Party, stunned at looking at the four posters delineated with all of the World events that had transpired during Ferd's first century on this earth (I was born about midway, my wife a few yeras later!).

Ferd passed shortly after that and I was asked to give one of the eulogies at the U. of Chicago Chapel. What a privilege, but it came with a rinkle: there was a lot of family tension, so I had to tread carefully.

So. I aimed my comments at - Julia!

Thereafter, Julia moved back to be near her family in the Northeast. We kept in touch. One year, our lengthy, picture-laden, family Christmas missive was late. She called, just to check in. That was Julia!

Somewhere in this timeframe, a package arrived from Julia. A framed photo of the 1921 West Point Swim Team complete with a skinny, young Plebe (WP freshman), Cadet Ferd Kramer. It still holds a place of honor in our home.

Julia traveled to Chicago every year thereafter and we would always meet her for lunch or dinner in the Loop. We seem to recall her last visit was for the funeral of Ferd's oldest son Doug in 2010. After that, it was Christmas letters and emails only.

What treasured memories! She was one of a kind.

Near the end of hs life, Ferd was very curious about life after death. So, when we would travel down to their condo in the South Loop for lunch, as we did often, Ferd would ask my Cathy to come into his bedroom and talk about such things.

Julia and I would sit out on the deck and discuss what was transpiring in the bedroom. She (and their two amazing, live-in caregivers) had been trying to get Ferd to discuss these topics, to no avail.

For some reason, he felt comfortable discussing same with Cathy.

Julia was delighted, because of her own, deeply-rooted spirituality, which had gotten her thru some tough times in the previous 30+ years.

I found this fascinating - she had such inner strength and composure. She knew who she was and what her spirituality was and meant, all without ever feeling the need to "wear it on her sleeve!"

Wow, could this world use a few more Julias!

Cathy and I have a family commitment at West Point the October saturday of Julia's memorial service, which has been locked in for over a year. We intend to drive up to the Memorial Site on Sunday and hopefully share our love and regrets with any family members still there. (That assumes that we can locate and contact a family member to see if anyone will still be there)

Denny Coll

Cathy Schulze Coll

847-404-1767

dc65scribe@comcast.net 

Julia and I first met when she needed some help with her computer. I was so blessed to have any opportunity to go and take five minutes to address whatever technology questions she had and then spend an hour talking on a deep level about family, pets, marriage and divorce, philosophy, life, and death. I consider Julia to be such an important person in my life and cherish every minute I spent with her. I think my favorite memory of our time together was the day I returned her purple chair to her after getting it repaired  and reupholstered for her. It was so beautifully done that it brought her to tears. We both enjoyed looking at it and sitting in it. I only hope that whoever has the chair now understands and appreciates how special it was to her and to me. Even the person who did the repair and upholstery work commented on what a quality piece of furniture it is and how beautiful it came out! There are a few people I have met through my work who make a difference in my life, and Julia will always be there at the top of the list. Namaste, Julia.

I appreciate the way your mom cared about your friends. She also took great pride in her family, and they showed their love by taking great care of her. She was lucky to have a daughter like you. Thanks to all you did, she felt supported, engaged, loved, and happy. I hope you find comfort in the fact that you did so much to make sure your mom was well taken care of. You really helped make her last few years special ones. I miss her and feel incredibly sad that she’s gone.

Love,

Lynn

I only got to know your mom over the past few years. I loved the energy she brought to saying hello and connecting with Lynn and me. Though these were only short, random moments, they made an impression on me. My lingering memory is the amazed and happy look on her face when the Chicago Gang was gathered on your patio last May during Sue Ernst's visit. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you, Jeanne, having been together so much these past few years, deepening your relationship. What a gift you gave to your mother—the time, attention, and love. You made her past few years magical. I can only imagine the loss is all the more wrenching because of your caring love. I’m glad some many others were there to comfort her,  say goodbye, and hold her in their hearts. But you were her rock. She gave you life, but you gave her life. What a gift to give a parent. You are very much in our thoughts. With Love, Chris & Lynn

Mom loved berets!

She was so relevant,curious and fun
We met in a meditation group 20 years ago when she first came to Boston. We spent one day most months doing this for many years. When we no longer went we continued the day with lunch,shopping,museums. She loved the Eileen Fisher outlet. I would guess there are a lot of white shirts in her closet!
I was the “sweet corrupter” but she participated! Always thrilled with EH chocolates she would ask if I got myself something. I would hesitate ,think about lying but then say “yes”. She would gently say “good”.
In recent weeks she was trying to help me decrease my sweet intake, a struggle for sure. She introduced me to “frozen” and then “nuked” oatmeal cookies.
Now I never liked oatmeal cookies but must admit that eating them like this has been great. I know this pleases her a lot, eating one a day instead of other sweets!
I am so honored to witness the love between all in your family. She was sooo proud of everyone and how all have grown through your struggles. She loved you all so very much.
Love,Love,Love all the family photos and stories from friends.
I am so grateful to have had such a remarkable spirit as my friend. I will always think of her when I eat an oatmeal cookie, read beautiful writing, drive by Eileen Fisher ( but no white shirt for me!) , the tricks of online shopping ,trying new things
and above all aging with such grace and relevance,

Thinking of all of you…..Mary Ellen Rhinehart

On Nat Awuni' mom birthday celebration.

On Nat Awuni' mom birthday celebration.

At the birthday celebration of my mother inlaw

We've known Mrs julia Kramer for more than 20 years, myself and my husband Nat Awuni had the privilege of working with her as care givers to her husband Mr. Kramer, Mrs Kramer as we always called her was a very kind and loving person, she saw us as family not people working for her, even after her husband passed away and we were no more working for her, she still managed to connect us to people who gave us jobs to do, she will come with us to church anytime we invited her, we saw her us our mother in the US, she showed us so much love and cared so much about us, and even when she moved to Boston anytime she visits Chicago, she will always visit us at our home and also the church, we had the privilege to visit her also in Boston a couple of times, and even visited her few weeks before she passed away, she was our guiding Angel, she advised us on so Many things as wr were immigrants in this country, she even gave us financial support when we needed it, we are so grateful to GOD for connecting us to her, we wish she would have lived even longer, but GOD knows best, our hearts goes out to her immediate family and all the love ones that were affected and touched by her, she has affected so many lives, and all we can say is that she fought a good fight, she loved and cared for so many and is now in heaven with creator, to receive her reward, Mrs Kramer we will miss you so much, but you will forever be in our hearts. Thank you for accepting us, a
to be part of your family. We love you so much 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
Rest in peace till we meet again someday.
Elizabeth and Nat Awuni.

Family Gathering

Julia is my aunt (her sister Ruth's son). I have many very clear memories of Julia, both when I was a young boy and as an adult when I moved with my family to Chicago. The most vivid memory was the family canoe trip in the wilderness of Canada when Bob and Julia led the pack of young cousins on a fantastic adventure (cell phones not even a dream let alone invented). Julia was such a good historian/author that we always looked forward to her books. She had many attributes, but as noted in the various comments on this site, probably her greatest were the kindness and empathy she freely spread far and wide. I know that my mother really misses her sister and our family will miss our dear Aunt Julia.

I first met Julia in the mid-1990s when we both began serving on artistic circles, a nonprofit board begun by our mutual friend Ann Feldman. We served on the board together for three decades and I got to know Julia's incredible research skills, her astute comments on what direction artistic circles should take, and her steadfast encouragement of Ann and the board. I also knew Julia as dear friend and we shared a love of history--and of golden retrievers! I will miss Julia's gentle support, encouragement, and her unfailing care and kindness. She was truly lovely woman and I will remember her always.

Julia and Ruth (Wood Sisters) — with Ruth Alden Wood Haynes and Julia

Friends for 73 years.   Our husbands were apartment mates their second year at Harvard Law School.  We already had a friend in common from her graduate work and we bonded immediately.  We continued to keep in touch through all of life's changes.  I will miss her.

Julia was an amazing woman who adapted to whatever came her way.  She and Ferd were living briefly in one of his developments as he liked to do.  It was in an iffy neighborhood and I expressed concern for her walking from the apartment to the parking lot.  She said "Oh I always carry a tennis racquet or an umbrella in my hand."  Her powerful tennis serve smash was her safety.

Julia and my mother were close friends since they were attractive and active co-eds at the University of California/Berkeley. About eight years ago, my mother introduced me to Julia because of our shared interest in genealogy and family history. That introduction gave me a mentor, inspirerer, motivator, thinker, philosopher, research assistant, and friend. Over those years, Julia and I shared through many emails and phone conversations far more than genealogy and how to use the National Archives. Each time I pressed end on the phone screen, I was filled with joy and inspiration from her wisdom and insights about raising and tending to family, mending relationships, forgiving and forgetting, talking about tough topics like sickness and death, and pursuing a passion (in her case many). Each time I'd send her a draft essay, she'd write back immediately full of praise, ideas, and suggestions.

She provided a model for how to grow old while always being young at heart and in mind.

Very few people change one's life or have such a strong impact on one's heart and soul. Julia certainly did that for me. I'm so grateful to have developed such a bond with her, even late in life. I hope she and my mother pick up again together in heaven.

I only met Julia twice and each time, I felt drawn to her, her smile and her genuine warmth.  Our first meeting was the most memorable to me.  My daughter is Nate's partner, and my husband and I were invited to the celebration of his completion of his masters degree at his parents' home.   After meeting a few people and starting to move around the room, I noticed Julia and our eyes met as she was rising up to stand.  She immediately moved toward me with the beautiful gleam she had in her eyes and that very bright smile.  She reached out and took both my hands warmly and said, "someone said that you are Jenna's mother and I just had to come and meet you immediately."  She said she knew Jenna's mother must be a special person and now it was confirmed to her.  Humbly, I felt I was basking in the love of an extraordinary person; someone who felt love for another person before meeting them because of their close connection to someone she loved! What did I do to deserve that?  I wish I could have gotten to know Julia better, but the pandemic and various health concerns prohibited it.  I have loved learning more about her life, seeing the beautiful photos of this incredible woman and reading about all of the love she spread and was felt toward her.  My life was enriched for having met Julia.

For almost 40 years now Julia has been my role model, my mentor and my unlicensed therapist. She has taught me so much through her hard won wisdom, her humility and her sense of humor. One of my favorite memories of her involved finding cracker crumbs between the bedsheets of our guest room bed after one of her visits. I kept that to myself until years later when Julia told me that a friend had asked her why she always found cracker crumbs in her guest bed after Julia had visited.  Julia just laughed and admitted to enjoying a late night snack while reading at night!

So now in my mind’s eye I will treasure the image of Julia all tucked up in her flannel jammies, a big book resting on her knees and a bag of crackers at her side. I will not find crumbs in the guest bed again, but I will never forget the lovely person who used to leave them there.

Julia, you are so well loved, and will be so missed. Safe journey,  my dear friend♥️ 

Julia at 95 with her grandson Kai. What a great life. We miss her. She taught us all the irreplaceable value of family and relationships. Carrying on in your memory Mom.

Julia at Artistic Circles' board meeting 3/13/2023

Looking at all the remembrances, it brings so many memories. Julia was always a teacher to me through the years like no one else. She helped me in so many ways with raising children, trying to understanding anger which really confused me with my mother and father. Finally she tried to explain at the end how to be accepting about one’s actions. Unbelievable how she could communicate!