Sharing a, single, story about Jack is much harder than it should be, because there are so many stories and memories that lift me up. At the root of it, all of revolve around Jack doing his utmost to make me and others happy. I would say he was selfless to a fault, but I think in a good way, he was selfish because his high always came with others being happy in the moment.
My first memories of him, when I was a toddler, through my last time with him as he was battling cancer and in great pain and discomfort, were the same—He was most interested in bringing others happiness. I think often he did this at his own expense of sleep or health, because he cared so deeply for all of us.
He was also a great friend to the underdog, to the runt in the litter, cheering for the losing little league team, the smallest kid at bat, or the person in the conversation with the lightest voice. He would also take in everyone’s new significant other, and treat them as his own family, and adopt them into his ways and his life. He’d welcome boyfriends and girlfriends, husbands and wives (and exhusbands and exwives), and friend’s of friends of friends. He would pull them into his gravity and sometimes make them feel more part of the family than their own partner did. He wanted to make sure they felt welcome, felt like they could always come over and stay. There was always music and food, but more importantly he built an environment where everyone felt they had come home.
I remember staying at his house for a weekend in Iowa City. We had all had a long day on the lake and were sound asleep. One of his nephew’s and their spouse came to his house late at night after some partying in college town. Rather than Jack ushering them to a bed to get some sleep, he turned on the lights, turned on the music, made drinks for everyone, and entertained them (although not to the pleasure of others in the house sleeping). He made sure that his new guests felt welcome, received, and were important in his eyes and their happiness and joy was everything to him. That memory can be repeated with nearly every instance of time I have spent with him.
He was a mentor growing up and as an adult. I regularly think back to comments and ideas he shared realizing how thoughtful and insightful he was, particularly around how people think and what makes them tick.
It is hard to capture Jack in a statement, or a photo, or even a memory. What is easier, is just simply remembering his energy and intent and ability to bring joy to others. Â