Joel and I were with his Mom, Joyce Zerwekh, when she had her second hip replacement. She had years of difficulty walking that was diagnosed as back pain, but later was thought to be hip related.

She had complained about the bad experience with her first hip replacement and the care afterwards that certainly did not meet her standards as an experienced public health nurse and now the director of a nursing program at Concordia University of Portland.

Joyce and I were close friends since our days at the St. Olaf College nursing program. So I told her I would come when her second surgery was scheduled. I came ahead of time so Joyce could orient me to her house, neighborhood, and pre-op preparation.

Joel and I sat in the hospital waiting room. During the procedure, the surgeon came out and told us that he believed that she would be more comfortable walking if he cut her operated leg to be equal length as the other leg. Would we give permission for him to do this? Joel and I agreed, but promised each other we would not tell Joyce about it!

Joel and I had a comfortable time talking over dinner at a restaurant and then went back to visit Joyce later that evening, making sure she was comfortable before we left.

As I recall, both Joel and I stayed with her at her home. I was relieved that he knew his mother’s routine and what foods she liked. I managed the medications and hygiene. Together we made a good team and made her second surgery recovery much easier for her.

I did not know Joel well, but at one point when he had been house painting for a few years and seemed both interested in and capable at, I remember Joyce telling me that Joel was upset by the low standard of workmanship the painting contractor thought was acceptable. Joel had higher expectations!

That was certainly a trait that he had in common with his mother.

As a very young child, Joel was the creative one who found it difficult to meet the seemingly senseless rules of society - like tucking in his shirt at school.  Joyce often pointed to that incident as the beginning of Joel's problems. We loved his free spirit and sense of humor and regret he suffered so much in his search to become a better human being. 

Our condolences to you, dear Greg. Although we didn’t know Joel we are saddened by his passing. May you be comforted by the memories you have of Joel and know that you are wrapped in the loving arms of all who know you. We are sending prayers and BIG hugs to you for the coming weeks. We love you.