Below is a transcript of Hannah's eulogy:
Anyone who knew my grandpa knew that he loved being a grandpa. I mean that man was just
born to be Grandpa. Countless pictures show him basking in the adoration of a gaggle of
granddaughters—sometimes we’d be gathered around him as he strummed on his guitar songs
like “All God’s Creatures Got a Place in the Choir” (in which he would enthusiastically make the
accompanying animal voices), or tucked all together on my Aunt Valerie’s couch at Christmas
and Easter time. Many of the pictures are from pretty much any moment when Grandpa would
sit down and be immediately set upon by at least one granddaughter hoping for a cuddle. We all
as kids secretly suspected he might be the real Santa Claus—all love and jolliness and just pure
grandpa magic.
As I grew up, I learned that beyond all of his magic and infectious joy was also one of the
kindest, most unfailingly compassionate people I have known. He felt others’ suffering and pain
keenly as if it were his own, and likewise celebrated others’ gifts with an unfettered, rapturous
joy. I knew and recognized these qualities in him even as a child—I wrote him notes saying how
I wanted to be like him when I grew up—but it wasn’t until I grew up a bit that I came to really
understand the true depth of these qualities.
During the COVID pandemic, I found myself doing college remotely from home. At the same
time, I was experiencing an onslaught of health issues that compounded my sense of isolation
and being apart—both physically and otherwise—from my friends and peers. Worried about my
people-loving Grandpa also feeling isolated, I suggested we set up a weekly Zoom call (this, of
course, as you can imagine, took some begging and arm-twisting, but I finally got him to agree...).
For the next several years, my Grandpa became an anchor for me. Some weeks our calls—which
he always liked to term our “Hour of Power”—were filled with philosophical conversations and
our reflections about the world. We’d swap stories, share things we’d learned or read, talk about
people we’d spent time with. Each week when he popped up on my Zoom screen, his eyes would
light up just from seeing me (isn’t that an incredible gift, to have someone unabashedly glow just
from the sight of you?), and he would get giddier and giddier as we talked and thought aloud to
each other.
He also gave me a safe space to talk about anything on my heart. In the sanctity of our Zoom
room, I’d often tearfully share about friendship woes, heartbreak, fatigue and frustration over
my health—anything. He would listen for as long as I needed, without judgement. Sometimes he
would give me advice, while other times he simply held the space for me, let me know my
feelings were valid, and reminded me that I was unconditionally and wholly loved.
He reminded me to always, always remain compassionate, especially towards the people who
hurt us. He helped me, in some of my hardest moments, to loosen my grip on anger and hurt,
and remember to extend a forgiving hand. He let me feel my grief, while also helping me not to
get lost in it. He reminded me, perhaps above all else, how unfathomably lucky I have always
been to have the support, love, and strength to overcome life’s challenges.
Almost all of our calls included him repeating the Kairos mantra: “Listen, listen, love, love.”
He’d always say that that’s all we need to do, listen and love. That simple but powerful tenet
underpinned much of how he lived his life. I know he taught many of us here how to listen
deeply and openly, and how to love people well and wholeheartedly. I know we can all honor
him most by listening kindly and loving well, by giving people the gift of our presence. I’m sure
he would also be tickled if we all tried to be a little more goofy and take ourselves a little less
seriously—make those silly animal voices, those corny jokes. Know that cuddling has no age
limit and should be done as often as possible.
My Grandpa might not have actually been Santa Claus, but he was certainly love incarnate. And
if we can all embody a little James Bayne in our lives, we can keep spreading that love and keep
him with us always. Thank you so much for being here. Grandpa, we love you.