I just lost my younger brother on the 19th of this month , and I lost younger sister almost 10 years ago. The death of my younger brother is much harder for me to handle than my sister death. I can't seem to stop crying. I have anxiety and panic attacks every day. I feel like i have had a nightmare . But I keep saying someone pinch me and let it be over..
Losing my little brother
Posted by Theresa Witzel on Aug. 25, 2021, 4:14 a.m. PDT
I lost my brother on the 19th of July this year and I know how you feel. Its so hard and I too cry unexpectedly. Its like a wave hits me then leaves. I lost my mother at a young age and I think about her and my grandmother. I have accepted their deaths but I do not know why I cannot accept his death. Its like God took a part of my breathe and I cannot breathe the same or believe the same way because of how he died. He was in ICU in so much pain and on a ventilator.
It only seems strange because he was doing good the night before and I woke up to go the bathroom at 5:30am and my was going off like crazy ( we had a group chat for my brother with all his siblings and our mom) so I checked it and our mom said she got a call from the doc and said my brother was in critical condition.. with them putting tubes everywhere. I continue to pray and 2 hours I got a text from my other sibling saying we are at hospital. And I texted back and asked why ,and response. So I decided to lay back down for a few and our called my phone . I told my wife I didn't want to answer it because I felt something. She said please love just answer it. So answeredand it our mom saying ur brother just passed. I feel he took a part of me when he passed away
The doctor told me and family my brother was stable as well I saw them put a tube down his throat and each time his head went up and legs came up as well. I questioned the nurse and they said this is how they clear his lungs. They said he had pneumonia and needed to keep lungs clear. I saw a tear in my brothers eye he was sedated and on a ventilator. He did not have COVID. He was on antibotics , they told me he passed from a weak heart???? To this day I am continually questioning his death, because I saw this young nurse do something that another nurse said "no this is the way it goes" referring to a machine. Maybe its me not wanting to accept death. I cannot change anything and cannot bring him back but its the hurt in not seeing him, laughing together. Something I will live with and not get over until I see him again
They gave my brother cpr for 30 minutes. My sis was on the phone with the hospital and she heard the machine in the background And a nurse saying the had a slight pulse. But I don't understand why the hospital would continue to cpr on my brother and automatic ur brain dead after 7 minutes. It's crazy I feel a missing part of myself since my brother passing. I can't seem to believe that he is gone
When my mom passed when I was younger. I did not understand then and do not understand now why people who are beautiful souls have a hard time on earth and die in such harsh ways. This includes babies, young children with terminal illness and good people. I do know we all have a passport to this place for a time and when its expired its time to go. However vacations are not suppose to be nightmares. Death will unfortunately come to us all and we know not how. I guess the cycle we are apart of is like a merry go round we move through life and eventually something is meant to happen to make us unable to hold on. I do not know how long it will take to get over this. But I pray that time gives inner peace because this world is in darkness and we need people who beam light into our life. Thank you for sharing.