So vy sorry for your loss. I lost my youngest bro. recently and unexpectedly. I will be the one to pick up his ashes tomorrow. I have invited my other family to send me sealed letters which I will take back in a box later to the same spot and then bury them. None of us really got a chance to say goodbye. Writing a letter is helpful in these cases. You can then burn, bury or tear it up as you wish. Energy cannot be destroyed-- only transformed.
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