everyday seems like i'm on auto pilot. Most days i don't even want to get out of bed. I wish you could be here to see me grow up you missed my first day of high school it still does not feel real. You were someone i never thought i would lose so soon . You were there for almost all of my greatest achivements, i wish heave was next door. i'm slowly starting to forget you voice and that hurts me so much.

i wish i was up there with you, most days i wish it was me instead of you. you didn't deserve this Nana, you did everything right, you were there for me and the girls you made us feel wanted. no one else could have done the things you did for us. I wish I could just call you and go to your house to see you even for just a split second.

The day you left you took a piece of my heart with you and its a piece i can never get back. Awhile ago i couldn't take the pain any longer and i tried to end my life, that is how bad i want you here with me. And i know you are still in my heart but its not the same. All of the " I'm sorry for your loss" or " you are in my prayers" will ever take the pain away. I am so tired of hearing what everyone in my day too day life has to say they don't know what i have been through. but you did, you helped me through it.

Lately I feel so alone, I don't have anyone. Dealing with the fact you wont get to see me get my permit, license, graduate, and all of the rest really hurts me. I just hope you are proud me even when i make mistakes. I love you Nana with all my heart and soul.