Last year tomorrow, I lost my brother to heart failure due to his inability to care for himself and his inability to let me help him. After he died, my sister stopped talking to me. I think because I took over the arrangements because I was the one with the life insurance money. I have had his ashes for almost a year and maybe that's why she is mad at me and my other sister barely speaks to me. They are both older and we have never really been close but we used to get together at least. I miss them but I have had to let go. I can't control their feelings even though I have apologized numerous times for whatever it was I may have done.
Loss of my brother, my best friend.
Posted by Lilia Sedano Dardon on April 12, 2021, 12:25 p.m. PDT
Anger can overcome anyone but she has to work out her grief just like you could only do so much for him there is only so much you can do for her let it go to God only he can heal her heart loose yourself from her pain because you can only deal with you
I just list my younger brother to covid. I cabt help the anger i feel toward the person who i ferl responsible for him getting infected! Its come out in the wrong way... arguments with my 2 other sisters i noticed the anger come out. I even got violent! We stopped talking... after the funeral they parted ways leaving our relationship ruined, unresolved.. my anger for my brother's unfair death remains...
I just list my younger brother to covid. I cabt help the anger i feel toward the person who i ferl responsible for him getting infected! Its come out in the wrong way... arguments with my 2 other sisters i noticed the anger come out. I even got violent! We stopped talking... after the funeral they parted ways leaving our relationship ruined, unresolved.. my anger for my brother's unfair death remains...
I'm so sorry in early August I lost my grandma to covid also. Before we knew she even contracted it, me and my older sister were staying with our aunt 7 hours away for a week.
After we came back we went back to work it was my second day back after being gone for a week. I was working register and i see my dad walk in and he had this look on his face and at first we he told me " tell your boss you have to go there is a family emergency." so as we were getting in his truck i start with is mom okay. With a look of worry he said " it is your nana". after we get to her house i see my mom there. My uncle called my sister at work and flat out told her " you need to come check on her she has been in bed for four days and has not gotten up once" but the worst part he lived with her and knew there was something wrong with her. My sister called my mom and told her what he said her boss wouldn't let her go over to even check on her so when my mom got there she knew something was wrong. Come to find out she was unresponcive for those four days her blood sugar was over 400 and she was not even diabetic. when the amulance left to go to the hospital we didn't hear from the doctors for days after calling every hour they had the nurses call and tell us the news, and then after we told them no they moved her almost an hour away without telling us and we called and called we found out later she was on a vent and so much of her body was failing after over a week we had to make a heartbreaking choice to take her off. Every day i know she is gone but it still doesn't even feel real. And I can't help but to hate my uncle for not even going in there to see if she was okay in the four days she was still at home. she is the first grandparent i lost. And I am about to turn 15 and it hurts to know she wont be there for any of the big milestones.
I loss my brother 10 days ago its sad and horrible how he died no one deserves to leave the way he did he was my oldest I miss him so much and I misses his phone calls talking make me laugh. My heart is heavy right now but also I'm angry. What advise do anyone have for me the pain is more than hurt.
I'm still grieving my brother's death and I think I will forever. I miss him and his laughter and jokes so much. The other day, I was driving out of my neighborhood and a truck turned in front of me in a truck like his and it kind of looked like him too. I started bawling. I was so upset so I know I have more grieving to do. I joined Griefshare and I highly recommend it. However, I missed the last 3 meetings but I will finish them on my own eventually. I led the group, but my assistant finished those 3 meetings for me. I just didn't want to attend anymore. I think it was hard to hear all the sadness from the other participants. Now, its almost Christmas and my sisters still are not speaking to me, neither is my niece. Mine and my brother's best friend is also not speaking to me and now my eldest son is angry with me too. I don't know what it is that I have done but all I can do is let them all go. I have apologized but I don't know what I did that was so bad that I've been written off like I'm dead. I have to say its their loss but I really miss all of them. Its like I have experienced 5 deaths instead of 1.
I loss my brother 10 days ago its sad and horrible how he died no one deserves to leave the way he did he was my oldest I miss him so much and I misses his phone calls talking make me laugh. My heart is heavy right now but also I'm angry. What advise do anyone have for me the pain is more than hurt.
I'm so sorry for your loss Martha. I know its fresh for you so its going to be hard for a while longer. It does get better but the only thing I can say for sure is that forgiveness is the only way we heal. I am praying for you.
I'm so sorry in early August I lost my grandma to covid also. Before we knew she even contracted it, me and my older sister were staying with our aunt 7 hours away for a week.
After we came back we went back to work it was my second day back after being gone for a week. I was working register and i see my dad walk in and he had this look on his face and at first we he told me " tell your boss you have to go there is a family emergency." so as we were getting in his truck i start with is mom okay. With a look of worry he said " it is your nana". after we get to her house i see my mom there. My uncle called my sister at work and flat out told her " you need to come check on her she has been in bed for four days and has not gotten up once" but the worst part he lived with her and knew there was something wrong with her. My sister called my mom and told her what he said her boss wouldn't let her go over to even check on her so when my mom got there she knew something was wrong. Come to find out she was unresponcive for those four days her blood sugar was over 400 and she was not even diabetic. when the amulance left to go to the hospital we didn't hear from the doctors for days after calling every hour they had the nurses call and tell us the news, and then after we told them no they moved her almost an hour away without telling us and we called and called we found out later she was on a vent and so much of her body was failing after over a week we had to make a heartbreaking choice to take her off. Every day i know she is gone but it still doesn't even feel real. And I can't help but to hate my uncle for not even going in there to see if she was okay in the four days she was still at home. she is the first grandparent i lost. And I am about to turn 15 and it hurts to know she wont be there for any of the big milestones.
After we came back we went back to work it was my second day back after being gone for a week. I was working register and i see my dad walk in and he had this look on his face and at first we he told me " tell your boss you have to go there is a family emergency." so as we were getting in his truck i start with is mom okay. With a look of worry he said " it is your nana". after we get to her house i see my mom there. My uncle called my sister at work and flat out told her " you need to come check on her she has been in bed for four days and has not gotten up once" but the worst part he lived with her and knew there was something wrong with her. My sister called my mom and told her what he said her boss wouldn't let her go over to even check on her so when my mom got there she knew something was wrong. Come to find out she was unresponcive for those four days her blood sugar was over 400 and she was not even diabetic. when the amulance left to go to the hospital we didn't hear from the doctors for days after calling every hour they had the nurses call and tell us the news, and then after we told them no they moved her almost an hour away without telling us and we called and called we found out later she was on a vent and so much of her body was failing after over a week we had to make a heartbreaking choice to take her off. Every day i know she is gone but it still doesn't even feel real. And I can't help but to hate my uncle for not even going in there to see if she was okay in the four days she was still at home. she is the first grandparent i lost. And I am about to turn 15 and it hurts to know she wont be there for any of the big milestones.
I'm so sorry for your loss Reyna. I have to say that talking about it does help so share as much as you need to. Yes, your milestones in life will seem a little empty without her but I pray that you feel her spirit and God's love through your life of accomplishments. I pray that you find forgiveness for that awful situation. You are right, how can someone not check on someone for 4 days? The only thing I can say is that "out of sight, out of mind", seems to be true. Writing out your feelings is also helpful so please keep coming back. If you are able, maybe check out Griefshare.org
Anger can overcome anyone but she has to work out her grief just like you could only do so much for him there is only so much you can do for her let it go to God only he can heal her heart loose yourself from her pain because you can only deal with you
Thank you Carolyn. You are right but I know that her working out her grief is connected to her hatred of me. Hatred may be too strong of a word, but that's what it feels like. Until she can forgive me for whatever it is I did, she will never heal. That's my worst thought. I know she feels guilty because she said so many horrible things about him to the family when he messed up and maybe talking to me brings that back to her memory. I used to stick up for him all the time and her and I would argue about it in front of other family members. I know things will never be the same.
I just found out a couple of weeks ago that my best friend lost her brother in June in the middle of the night he died and she's grieving the loss is there anything that I can say to her to help that
I just found out a couple of weeks ago that my best friend lost her brother in June in the middle of the night he died and she's grieving the loss is there anything that I can say to her to help that
Yes Carolyn. The best medicine is to listen attentively to all she has to share and let her share as long and as much as she needs to. You don't have to have any answers, just listen and love on her and tell her how sorry you are for her loss. Sympathy is the best medicine. Don't tell her it will get better or that he's in a better place because none of us want to hear that. All we really want is to grieve and for someone to listen and cry with us.
